


Time will bring me back to you

by EmisFritish



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, F/M, Getting Back Together, Oliver and Felicity finally work out their issues, Post-Season/Series 04 Finale, Slow Build, and grow back together in the process
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 04:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7962835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmisFritish/pseuds/EmisFritish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After every member of the team leaves, Oliver and Felicity are left alone in Star City for several months. Will the time alone break them further apart, or will it prove to be exactly what they need to find their way back to each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on what happens during the hiatus between season 4 and 5, and picks up shortly after the season 4 finale. This fic is composed of 11 drabbles and an epilogue. The story is finished, minus the epilogue, and I will post one new installment every few days. 
> 
> Also, a huge thanks to adiwriting and howtosing it for all the help and beta on this story, you guys are both amazing writers, and human beings <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy the read, and please don't hesitate to comment and let me know what you think at the end of the fic! I'm always happy to read all of your opinions :)

_Was all of this really worth it?_

That’s the question that has been running through Oliver’s head for the past thirty minutes. Here he is, standing in front of the cases where they hold the suits, in the middle of the destroyed lair. And as he looks at each one, he can’t stop asking himself that very question.

Four years ago, he started his crusade alone. And now, when he looks at every one of those suits, he can’t help but wonder if anything has really changed since then. What has he actually accomplished?.

Darhk didn’t just break out of prison by himself, he also helped a lot of the people that Oliver and the team had put away escape. There is a giant crater in the middle of the city which he doesn’t even know how to start to repair, and as mayor, that responsibility now falls on his shoulders. Merlyn is still the very morally ambiguous person and father he was when he came back from the island.

And most of all, he’s all alone. Just like he was four years ago. It seems like being a mask and joining him on his mission to save the city has brought nothing but grief to every one around him.

He glances towards the Spartan suit, and he can’t help but recall Diggle telling him he had reenlisted and was going for another tour. This life style has messed him up so bad that he felt the need to leave his family and go back to fighting a war he had left behind long ago. Was that what Oliver brought to his life? Pain and grief?

His eyes then travel towards the red suit, which had first belonged to Roy, and then Thea. And now, they are both gone. Roy has been run out of Star City and Thea doesn’t even know who she is anymore. Thea, his once happy and full of life sister, felt the need to walk away from him so she could find herself and rebuild her life. His past decisions and working with the Arrow messed her up so badly that she felt she couldn’t even come to him for help. And what kind of brother does that make him?

One that was so focussed on everyone else that he didn’t even realize his own sister was struggling so much. It isn’t the brother he wants to be, and it isn’t the brother Thea deserves.

Finally, he looks at the Canary suit and he feels his throat clench with emotion. Laurel. This suit is the one which hurts most of all, because Laurel hasn’t just left and decided to pursue her work as the DA like she originally planned. She died. Laurel died fighting for something she didn’t even initially believe. Maybe if he’d stayed away from her, Laurel would have continued to see the Arrow as this criminal wrecking havoc in the city, and she would have never gotten involved, never been killed. He doesn’t feel responsible for her death, he knows it was her choice. But he can’t help the huge sadness that overpowers him when he thinks of her being gone from his life forever.

Every single one of these people decided to put on a mask because they believed that they were helping the city, they believed in him. And he can’t help but wonder if it hadn’t all been a huge mistake after all.

Was all of this really worth it?

He’s lost so many people since the Gambit went down, and he’s lost even more since he decided to become the Arrow. Tommy, his mother, Maseo, Laurel… Too many people have been lost since he started his cruisade.

The goal was always to save the city, and now that he’s mayor maybe he can do it another way. Maybe he can be the light this city needs for once, instead of pulling people to the darkness with him. And he has to admit, standing alone in the light seems a lot more appealing than standing here in the dark, wondering if everything he’s done since he came back from the island was for nothing.

The sound of steps coming from behind him pulls him out of his thoughts, and Oliver turns slightly towards the noise, coming face to face with Felicity.

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” he says, his voice a little rough from the emotion still pulling at him.

He can’t quite bring himself to look at her, afraid of what she’s going to say to him. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Felicity announces that she’s leaving. He’s doesn’t know how he’ll survive that.

“You thought I was leaving too?” she asks, sending him a knowing look. Oliver turns towards her, not knowing what to say. Yes, in fact. He had thought she would be leaving too.

“Not a chance,” she continues with so much certainty in her eyes. Oliver feels a huge weight lift from his heart.

Maybe he isn’t alone after all.

In spite of everything that happened between them, in spite of everything Darhk has put all of them though, Felicity is still here. She still believes in what they do, and is willing to continue this journey with him. He’s still not sure that coming back from Ivy Town and becoming the Green Arrow was the right call. Maybe being the mayor, helping out in the light of day, would be enough.

But if there is one person he believes in, it’s Felicity. And if she is here now, it’s because she believes in the good they are doing. Believes in them, as a team. And that will have to be enough for him now. Her presence in the lair means more to Oliver than he’ll ever be able to express.

Last year, Felicity decided to leave with him. And this time, Felicity decided to stay with him.

“You’re wrong you know,” she says softly, facing the suit cases in front of them.

“About what?” he asks, even though he has an idea what she means. This is Felicity, he didn’t really stand a chance at hiding what he was feeling from her.

“I know what you’re thinking, looking at all of those,” she answers, pointing towards the suits. “And you’re wrong. Yes, John and Thea are a little lost right now. And yes, Laurel… Laurel is gone. And it’s awful and we all have to live with it. But they are — We are — still better off than before we met you.”

“How can you say that Felicity? Diggle felt so awful that he reenlisted for a war he hasn’t fought in in years. My sister doesn’t even know who she is and what she is fighting for anymore. You got shot, you lost the company, you got hu- I hurt you,” he says his voice breaking a little on the last word.

Because he had. He had hurt her. And if they have any chances of moving on from this, he needs to accept that and do everything in his power to never hurt her that way again.

“And Laurel… Laurel died for this,” he says, after taking a moment to recompose himself.

He knows everything isn’t his fault, and he promised himself that he wouldn’t go there. He promised he wouldn’t blame himself and he knows that they all made their own decisions. But Felicity can’t just stand here and tell him they weren’t better off before they met him either.

“You’re right,” she says, and Oliver turns towards her, not quite believeing that she is agreeing with him that easily. “John reenlisted. But you know what else? He also reconnected with Lyla and has a beautiful daughter, and that’s partly thanks to you, Oliver. If you’re taking credit for the bad stuff, then you have to take credit for the good stuff.”

She pauses a moment, and Oliver stays silent. He knows she isn’t finished, and is probably thinking over how she wants to phrase things.

“And yes, Thea is lost right now. But when you came back she was a young grieving girl who was using drugs whenever she could and didn’t know what she wanted in life. And now she’s a strong, smart, and kind woman who dedicates her life to helping others, just like her brother. And Laurel’s gone, and it is tragic. But she died a hero who was fighting for something she believed in, something we all believe in. Don’t take that away from her. Don’t second guess yourself now. As for me well… There isn’t a single moment I wish I hadn’t met you. Don’t ever doubt that. In spite of everything that happened, my life is a lot better with you in it.”

By the end of her speech, Felicity is looking at him with fire in her eyes, begging him to believe her.

Oliver stays silent for a while, thinking over her words. Deep down, he knows she’s right. He hadn’t lost hope while facing Darhk because he knew that they were doing what was right, and that Team Arrow had the best chance at saving the city.

He hadn’t given up after Laurel’s death because he knew that it wasn’t his fault, and that she had died a hero, fighting for what she believed in. He couldn’t let the fact that most of the team left alter everything he believed in a few days ago.

After a few minutes of silence, he turns back towards Felicity and smiles gently at her.

“Maybe you should have been the one to run for mayor. You’re very good at those inspirational speeches,” he says teasingly.

“First, don’t even pretend you’re bad at them Mr. “Let’s jump on the hood of a car and inspire the entire city,” she says laughing. “And second, you clearly need these speeches to get it through your thick head that we are all better off with you, than we ever were without you.”

“Maybe I do,” he says still smiling. “And it worked, thank you.”

“Anytime,” she answers with a matching smile, before turning back towards the suits in front of them.

Things are far from perfect. All of them are a little broken right now, and everything is a bit of a mess. But standing there, with Felicity by his side, Oliver feels hope swell into his chest.

Maybe they all need a little time to put themselves back together, and eventually come back stronger, as a team. And if all of this was just a way for him to create great friendships with Diggle and Laurel, to build a strong relationship with his baby sister, to meet Felicity...

Maybe all of it was worth it after all.


	2. Part II

“Okay, we have to clean up this place,” says Felicity, appearing in the lair while clapping her hands, meaning business.

At her entrance, Oliver lifts his head up to smile at her. He hasn’t seen Felicity in a few days, and he’s glad to see she is ok.

He knows that these can’t have been the easiest days for her. Dealing with Darhk was not an easy feat for any of them, but on top of that, Felicity had lost the company and both of her parents had left town. All of this in less than a week.

So to say that Oliver is happy to see Felicity being her determined and bubbly self is an understatement. Add to that the fact that she actually came seeking his company… 

Yes. Oliver is more that happy to see her.

 He has been standing in the ruins of their training mat, wondering what to do first. Now that the others are gone, it seems like such a huge place, and he doesn’t know how to even start putting the lair back together. It seems like too big of a task for him to do by himself.

He was about to give up and go home, when Felicity entered the lair. Always helping and bringing him comfort without even knowing it.

A few days ago, he didn’t even know if he wanted to continue being the Arrow. He still doesn’t if he’s honest with himself. But he’s not alone anymore, Felicity is here with him, and there’s nothing he can’t do with her at his side.

“Any word from Palmer Tech?” he asks gently.

The last time they saw each other, they had decided that they would wait a couple of days before returning to the lair. That time was supposed to be for Oliver to get settled into his new position as mayor and for Felicity to start looking for a new job.

When he arrived and saw that Felicity wasn’t there, Oliver had hoped that the reason for her absence was that the Palmer Tech board had changed their mind in light of everything that has happened in the last few days.

While none of the nuclear heads had hit Star City, thanks to Felicity and Curtis’ genius, Darhk had still managed to create quite an uproar and many people had taken advantage of the situation. He can only imagine how much of a mess Palmer Tech has to be right now, and he had thought for sure that they would call back Felicity, needing all the help they can get.

Seeing her face now though, Oliver knows they haven’t changed their minds.

“Curtis called and said most of the building is intact. I haven’t heard from anyone else,” she says, bending down to pick one of her broken monitors and avoiding eye contact.

Oliver frowns softly, but he doesn’t say anything, respecting her obvious wish to drop the subject.

 _What a waste_ , he thinks. Felicity was a tremendous CEO, and she had managed to do so much for the company in very little time, while juggling Darhk at the same time. He doesn’t understand how the board can’t see that.

But unfortunately, he had lost his voice with the board room a long time ago, and there is nothing he can do but be there for Felicity.

He knows that things aren’t easy for her right now, and even though he feels like Felicity would feel better if she talked about everything, he doesn’t want to force her to do something she obviously doesn’t want to do. He has to trust that she’ll come to him when she’s ready.

“I don’t even know where to start,” he says instead, changing the subject.

Felicity turns towards him and looks at him gratefully, obviously happy he dropped the subject.

“We do this step by step,” she says after a moment of silence, looking at Oliver meaningfully.

Oliver can’t quite read the emotion shining in her eyes right now, but he understands that she isn’t just talking about the lair. _They_ have to take this step by step too.

“The city still needs you. All of you. It needs Mayor Oliver Queen by day, and the Green Arrow by night. So we start by picking all of this up,”

She kicks a piece of glass lying at her feet, before turning back towards him with a small smile.

“These people are always crashing uninvited into our lair. The least they could do is clean up after themselves,” she jokes, and Oliver smiles in answer.

He knows that Felicity is trying to lighten up the mood, and he wants to let her know he appreciates what she is trying to do. He appreciates her.

“They really could. At least, they managed to find the exit by themselves,” he says, referring to the lack of unconscious bodies around them.

After their fight in the lair, it seems like all of the ghosts they had incapacitated had managed to regain consciousness, and had left. Probably joining the fight going on above ground level.

“Thank god for small mercies,” Felicity answers with a soft sigh.

She turns towards her desk where her purse is laying, and pulls out a roll of garbage bags, tearing one away and giving it to Oliver, before tearing another one for herself.

“You start with the left side, and I’ll start with the right? Meet back up in the middle?” she asks.

“Meet back up in the middle,” he agrees, the words once again, referring to so much more than the cleaning up of the lair.

They both start cleaning, throwing away broken glass and picking up furniture. They work in companionable silence, and Oliver feels a sense of peace within him. He gets lost in the manual labor, and his mind can finally quiet down a little.

For once, he doesn’t have to think about the danger Diggle may already be in, or how broken his little sister is. He doesn’t have to think about all the work that the city needs done, and the ache in his heart when he thinks about Laurel.

For now, he just has to think about getting this place cleaned up, and not cutting himself on glass as he picks it up. He looks towards Felicity and sees her doing the same on the other side of the lair, mumbling to herself, and a soft smile grows on his face.

 _One step at a time_ , he thinks.

 


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just wanted to pop in to let you know that the story will definitely be done and posted before the show starts back up, so hopefully this holds you up until we can see Oliver and Felicity again on the show!  
> Thank you so much for reading and to those of you who comment and leave kuddos, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story :)

It’s the third consecutive day he and Felicity have been cleaning up the lair, and Oliver can finally start to see the end of it.

For the past three days, he’s been going to work every day, trying to salvage as much as could be saved in the city. Because of the uproars caused by Darhk while he was alive and the people taking advantage now, Star City is a huge mess and many people have come to complain at City Hall every day. It reminds Oliver of the way the city was after the Undertaking, and it saddens him to think that all the progress they made since then has been erased. As if these past three years were for nothing.

He’s been attending so many meetings during the day that his head hurt, before coming back to the lair in the evening to find Felicity already there.

He hasn’t said anything about it yet, not wanting Felicity to get upset with him. But he knows that she isn’t really doing okay, and that she’s burying herself into the work in the lair, avoiding dealing with everything going on in her life. It’s understandable with everything that happened recently, but he still can’t help but wish that Felicity would come to him and let him help and comfort her. Still, he doesn’t want to push her to talk yet, especially when their relationship is still a far cry from what it was before.

He had decided a few days ago that if she didn’t come forward and open up by herself by the end of the week, he’ll try to dig deeper and ask her.

So for now, he doesn’t say anything, and just keeps redressing furniture, and throwing bags of trash away, while Felicity tries to salvage whatever tech equipment she can.

They haven’t been talking a lot these past three days, mostly focused on the lair and getting things done, but it hasn’t been uncomfortable either. He is just appreciating spending some time with her without any imminent threat to their lives, and judging by the relaxed look Felicity has most of the time, she feels the same. It’s a nice feeling.

Once in a while, Felicity will stop whatever she is doing to ask him about his day, and Oliver will tell her stories about the crazy man that caused a scene at the station because he wanted to put an APB on his cat, and then refused to leave until Oliver would come out personally and talk to him. Or the meeting that lasted over an hour because the council couldn’t decide if they wanted the walls of the school they are re-building to be red or blue.

It’s good. He’s missed having someone to talk to at the end of the day. Being able to spend that much time with her without them being in imminent danger is something they haven’t had since Ivy Town, and he’s missed it a lot. He’s missed Felicity.

Suddenly, Felicity stands back up from where she was crouching, dusting a computer monitor, and turns to him with a startled look.

“Oliver, where have you been staying all this time? I completely forgot to ask you! God, I am the worst friend in the world, how could I have forgotten? I didn’t even bother to check that you had somewhere to stay! I’ve been leaving here every night, without even—” she says, working herself into a frenzy and Oliver walks closer to her, stopping her by laying a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Felicity,” he says softly, and she looks up at him, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. I’ve been staying in a hotel not too far from here. I would have stayed in the lair, but well… I have to be careful not to dirty my suits up too much, now that I’m using them every day.”

A silence follows his declaration, and Oliver closes his eyes, not quite believing he just admitted that.

“I’m sorry. Did you just say that you were staying in a hotel to protect your _suits_?” she asks. Oliver can see that she is trying her hardest not to laugh. “Ollie Queen, is that you talking right now?”

“Ha ha,” he says in mock laugher, teasingly glaring at her. “You know what I mean. You wouldn’t believe the amount of people that care what I wear now that I’m mayor! It wouldn’t do for me to show up in a suit covered in dust and debris. It’s just easier this way. Lyla offered her couch, but I don’t want to intrude. And Thea said I could stay with her, but I know she’d rather be by herself right now, and there are just too many memories at that place.”

“I get it Oliver,” Felicity says with a soft look on her face, understanding shining in her eyes. She lost Laurel too, and Oliver knows she understands that it wouldn’t feel right living there now.

“With everything going on at the office, and cleaning up the lair, I guess I haven’t gotten around to finding a place yet,” he explains, and hopes that Felicity doesn’t question him further.

The truth is, that he hasn’t gotten around to finding a place because somewhere, in the corner of his brain, he’s still hoping that he and Felicity will get back together and that _they_ will find a place together.

Finding an apartment… Signing a lease… It just makes everything so final between them, and he hasn’t lost all hope yet. He knows he’s hurt Felicity deeply, but he’s working on making things better, and he just…. He’s hoping.

Of course, he won’t actually admit that to Felicity. He was the cause of their break up, and he refuses to pressure or push Felicity about their relationship. If they are to get back together one day, he needs to respect her boundaries and accept the fact that she may need time.

 _One step at a time_ , like she had said.

He’s certain Felicity is going to ask him why he hasn’t looked for an apartment yet, probably sensing that there is something he’s not telling her.

“You should move back in with me,” she says, and Oliver whips his head towards her in shock.

“I mean...You should move back in to our apartment… My apartment… The loft! You should move back into the loft. Now that my mom left, the guest bed room is available, and it would probably be a lot more comfortable than some hotel. Plus, it’s a little weird living there by myself, and I wouldn’t mind the company. Also now that I am unemployed, I could use some help with the bills. I bankrolled the two of us for so long, maybe it’s time to turn things around.” Felicity pauses, and Oliver can see the exact moment she realizes what she just said by the look of embarrassment that crosses her face.

“Not that you would be my Sugar Daddy! Because we’re not together anymore, obviously. But we could be roommates. Very platonic roommates who share bills. And I’m going to stop talking in 3… 2… 1...,” she babbles, and Oliver can’t help but smile at her.

God, he’s missed that.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?” he asks, aware that he has to tread lightly here. Felicity and he moving back in together, even as platonic roommates as she puts it, is a big step. He doesn’t want to mess everything up further between them and take advantage somehow.

Felicity is in a delicate place right now, and even though she hasn’t told him, Oliver knows her enough to realize that she is putting on a strong front while struggling inside. As much as he would love the idea of moving back in with her and seeing her more often, he doesn’t want her to do something she might regret.

“Sure. I mean, technically, it was your place first anyway,” she starts to say, and Oliver just looks at her disapprovingly.

He hated it when she brought that up when they were talking about who would keep the loft after the break up. It somehow made it feel like it wasn’t _their_ place, as much as it was his. And he still doesn’t like it now.

“What I mean is, no. I wouldn’t mind. It would be nice even,” she says, and she looks nervously at Oliver, as if afraid he’ll say no.

 _As if,_ he thinks. He’ll take any chance he can to spend as much time with her as possible. If Felicity wants him there, you can be sure he’ll move there as soon as possible. Tonight, even.

“Okay, that would be good,” he says, pretending that he’s not screaming of joy inside.

“Yeah?” she asks, smiling softly at him.

“Yeah, it would be nice. Thank you.”

“No problem,” she says, before turning back around to her desk and her computer bits.

Oliver looks at the back of her head for a few seconds longer, smiling softly.

Not only will he get to see Felicity every day outside of Arrow business, he also gets to be there for her and make sure she’s doing ok with everything.

This is nowhere near where they were before, and it may take a long time for them to get back to that place. But it’s still a huge step forward. And if Oliver has learned anything since he came back from the Island, is that you have to appreciate the victories, because you never know how long they will last.

 


	4. Part IV

Oliver wakes up in a proper bed for the first time in a long time, and a wave of contentment runs through his body as soon as he remembers where he is. He’s in the guest bedroom— which is now technically his bedroom. In the loft, which he shares with Felicity.

This may not be the bed he wants to wake up in for the rest of his life— he’d much rather have a warm body next to him and long blond hair trying to worm their way into his mouth like they had so many times before— but it’s still a lot better than a cold and hard cot in the lair.

He may be staying in the guest bedroom, but he’s back to living in their apartment. It may be foolish of him to hope that it means something, but he chooses to remain optimistic for now. This is the first step in the right direction, and he feels happy about it.

This is going to be a good day.

After a few minutes of lounging in bed, he finally gets up and makes his way to the closet where his clothes are stored.

“You can even have a proper closet to store your precious suits,” Felicity had teased him last night, when Oliver had officially moved in and brought the possessions he had with him from the hotel room. A lot of his stuff is still in storage, but he doesn’t really need much anyway, he’ll bring it back little by little. Being here is enough for now.

After showering quickly and getting dressed, he makes his way downstairs and starts towards the kitchen, doing a double take when he finds Felicity sitting at the counter and eating cereal, already dressed for the day.

“How did you sleep?” asks Felicity, lifting her head to look at him briefly before dropping it back down to stare longingly at the empty mug laying on the counter in front of her.

Felicity was never much of a morning person while they were together, and Oliver is glad to see that hasn’t changed.

However, the fact that she is up at this hour of the morning when she doesn’t have to go to work is even more alarming. For one moment, he thinks maybe Palmer Tech called her, or she has an interview, but he quickly dismisses the thought. She’s dressed casually in jeans and a light pink blouse, not the clothes she would wear to go to the office or for an interview. On top of that, she would have surely told him last night if she had an interview to attend in the morning.

No, something else is going on. Something is very wrong, if it pushed Felicity out of bed at the ‘ungodly hour of 7.30 AM’ as she used to repeat.

Felicity lifts her head back up to stare at him, and Oliver realizes that he still hasn’t answered her question, lost in his thoughts.

“Very well, thank you. I can see why Donna decided that living with you all these weeks was the right thing to do,” he says laughing softly, while he reaches forward and grabs Felicity’s cup, making his way to the coffee maker to fill it back up.

“Well that, and the fact that it was rent-free. Never let it be said that Donna Smoak doesn’t recognize a good opportunity when she sees one,” she answers, rolling her eyes in fondness.

“Thanks,” she continues, when Oliver puts the now full coffee cup in front of her, and she instantly trades her cereal bowl for the mug, taking a huge gulp out of it and sighing in happiness.

“I have to go to the office in a few, do you need me to drop you off somewhere? I didn’t think you would be awake this early in the morning,” he says.

Felicity drops her head down, not saying anything and Oliver frowns slightly in answer. He knows something is bothering her, and he wishes she would just tell him what it is, so they could fix it together.

“No, I don’t really have anywhere to be,” she says, still avoiding his eyes.

Oliver waits a few seconds, seeing if she will explain why she’s up this early then. He’d told himself he would wait a week to see if she opened up to him, and she still hasn’t, so Oliver figures this might be the opportunity to see what’s going on in her head.

“So why the early wake up? I vividly remember you saying that ‘morning people are the spawn of evil and should be stopped at all cost’,” he teases, hoping to get a smile out of Felicity.

“I know. And I still believe that waking up at 8 o’clock on a Sunday morning to go to the market is a sign that you are mentally unstable,” she answers, which has Oliver smile at the memory.

“But somehow, I just can’t seem to kick the habit of waking up early to go to work,” she continues, shrugging slightly. “I’ve been doing it for so long, that now I can’t seem to embrace my unemployed lifestyle.”

Oliver’s frown deepens at her self-deprecating tone, but he remains silent, waiting to see if she’ll continue. At his silence, Felicity lifts her head back up and she probably notices the look on his face because she explains without Oliver prompting her.

“I just— I hate being unemployed. I hate the fact that I want to hate them for firing me, and yet I can’t because I sort of understand where they are coming from. I hate feeling useless.” she finally admits, shame clear through her body language.

“Felicity… Why didn’t you tell me? You’ve always been there for me, I just want to be able to do the same,” he says, making his way to the counter and sitting next to her, offering comfort through closeness.

“We had enough stuff to deal with without adding this to the plate. Plus with everything that happened with Darhk, I haven’t really had the chance to focus on everything else going on in my life. And now that it’s over… It just hit me all at once.”

“I can understand that. But you’re wrong, you know?”

Felicity turns to Oliver surprised, and he can see the look of disbelief on her face.

“First of all, you are so far from being useless. Without you, Star City wouldn’t even exist anymore, and that includes Palmer Tech. Secondly, you can absolutely be mad and hate them for firing you. I know I do! Did they forget that you were the one that turned the company back around? That without Curtis and you, Palmer Tech would be so far into bankruptcy that they probably would have shut down months ago? I can’t believe them!”

“I think they remember,” she says, laying a reassuring hand on his arm and smiling softly. “But the company is already struggling with money and they didn’t really agree with me selling the bio-implant at such a low price. Plus, all of my unexplained absences lately and the fact that I didn’t take the time to defend myself or the idea to the board surely didn’t help my case…”

“But you helping to save Star City and so many other cities in the world!” he explodes.

“They don’t know that,” Felicity explains, and Oliver deflates at that.

He hates that Felicity is being punished for doing something good and saving so many lives, and he hates that they can’t just tell the board the truth about who she’s working with and what she was doing. Not without putting them both in danger of being exposed to the world.

And would that really help anyway? It seems the reason Felicity got fired was mainly because they had different ideas on how to keep the company alive, and different priorities. Felicity wants to help people and Palmer Tech wants to make money. That’s where the real issue lies.

“I’m so sorry Felicity,” he finally says, turning around in his chair until he is facing her and taking the hand that is resting on his arm into his own. “I should be the one comforting you, and here you are reassuring me, like always. I just hate that they are doing this to you partly because of the work we do.”

“It’s not your fault Oliver. And I mean that,” she says sternly. “I know you have a tendency to take the weight of the world onto your shoulders, but this has nothing to do with you. I’m the one that chose to prioritize our work with Darhk over my job at Palmer Tech, and frankly, knowing the consequences now, I would still do the exact same thing. I don’t regret it. I just…”

“What?” asks Oliver softly. He can see that something is still bothering Felicity, and he just wants to help her whatever way he can.

“A while ago Thea and I had a talk. When Brie Larvan unleashed all of her bees onto Palmer Tech,”

“The Bee-yatch,” he says imitating Felicity awkwardly, which pulls a laugh out of her. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Yeah, her,” she says laughing. “Well anyway, I thought that I had found a way to finally do some good in the world outside of being on Team Arrow. I didn’t want to be on the team back then, it was too painful and I was running away I guess.”

Oliver drops his head in shame, remembering the moment Felicity told him that she was leaving the team and completely broke his heart at the same time.

“I wouldn’t want that anymore. I’ve come to realize that what we do is important, and most of all, I don’t want to run away from my problems. I don’t want to shut myself out. It isn’t the solution.” She looks at him, silently begging him to understand and when he nods with a sad smile, she continues speaking.

“But I still liked the idea of doing some good. Of becoming a beacon of hope. With the technology Curtis developed, I thought that maybe we could develop it further and try to help other people that were in my situation. And that would only be the beginning. There are so many regenerative diseases that we could cure, or at least try to. We could improve the living conditions for the people who are sick and do some real good… I was really excited about this project. It just makes me sad that we won’t be able to do that now.”

Oliver stays silent for a while, thinking about what Felicity just told him. He can understand that she is disappointed at the idea of having lost that. Just like he wants to be the mayor to help the city in the light, she also needs more than simply being on Team Arrow. She needs to feel like she is helping making the world a better place in the daylight too, and now she thinks she lost her chance.

“Maybe you still could,” he says finally, and Felicity lifts her head up quickly, looking at him in surprise and obviously not understanding where he is coming from.

“I’m just saying, you and Curtis were the ones that saved Palmer Tech initially. And you and Curtis were the ones that wanted to develop the micro chip to help people, you don’t need Palmer Tech for that.”

“What do you mean?” Felicity says, frowning softly.

“I’m just saying, ‘Smoak Technologies’ has a nice ring to it,” he says, and he smiles softly when Felicity looks at him in astonishment.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Just think about it. You could start your own company Felicity. You don’t need them. All you need is Curtis’ and your brain, and you have that already. You can do it your way, without having to deal with the board and what they want.” He tries to explain, even though he can see that Felicity still isn’t convinced.

“I can’t ask Curtis to leave a stable job to pursue a dream that has little chance of working,” she says, and Oliver shakes his head.

“Maybe you’re not the only one that wants to be a ‘beacon of hope’,” he explains. “Maybe Curtis would rather work with his friend on developing a project that could help humanity rather than working for a company that wanted to fire him not 6 months ago, and obviously wouldn’t recognize a good thing if it landed in their lap. They did fire you after all, they can’t be too bright.”

Felicity smiles at Oliver’s words, and she looks at him thoughtfully. After a few seconds, she shakes her head, as if clearing it of all thoughts.

“It’s not that easy starting a company Oliver. You need money. A lot of it. And investors, a work space… It’s just too complicated. I can’t do it,” she says.

“Are you telling him that Curtis and you couldn’t go and knock on the doors of every potential investor in this city until one of them listened to you? If anyone can do it, it’s you two. You could talk them into giving you the money just so you’ll leave them alone,” he teases.

Felicity laughs and hits him softly on the chest.

“I know at least one person who would lend you the money,” he continues.

“You?” she asks, looking at him dubiously, probably wondering where he would find all that cash.

Oliver laughs at her reaction. They both know he doesn’t have that kind of money anymore, although he would have invested all of it in Felicity without any hesitation if he did have it.

“You know I would if I had it, but no. I was referring to Walter. He’s always admired you and your work. I’m certain he would do it if you explained your idea. Plus, how long would it take you to go in a casino and come back out with an astronomical sum of money? I believe you can do whatever you set your mind up to Ms. Smoak,” he says, while standing from his chair and gathering his jacket.

He won’t have the time for have breakfast if he doesn’t want to be late for work. But right now, he couldn’t care less. He’s just glad that Felicity opened up to him, and he hopes he was able to help.

“I have to go to the office, but I’ll see you tonight at the lair?” he asks, and when Felicity nods in answer, he starts to make his way to the door, only to be stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Thank you,” says Felicity, looking at him gratefully.

“Anytime. And please just think about it,” he says, dropping a kiss to her forehead before walking to the door. Just before he exists the apartment, he sees Felicity with a small smile on her lips, and already deep in thought.

He planted the seed, now he can only hope he was enough to make her believe in herself, just like she did for him so many times before.

He was right this morning when he woke up.

This is already a good day.


	5. Part V

Oliver is sitting at his desk, pulling his hair while filling the endless paperwork that seems to end up on his desk.

So far he’s liked his work as mayor. He likes that he’s able to actually help the city in ways that people can recognize, and in the two weeks he’s been in office, he’s already approved the construction of a new school and relaunched the project to clean up the Star City Bay Area.

There are some things in his new job that he absolutely hates though. The paperwork and red tape has to be at the top of that list.

A knock sounds on the door, and Oliver instantly pulls his focus out of the paperwork, and lifts his head up to greet his savior.

Felicity timidly opens the door, and a huge smile blooms on Oliver’s face when he sees her entering his office.

He would have been happy no matter who came to save him for all that paperwork, but the person being Felicity makes it all the better. He’s always happy to see her.

“Hi,” she says with a small smile. “I’m sorry to bother you, I just wanted to bring you something.”

Oliver’s eyes, which had been focused on her face, pull away and he instantly notices the plant that Felicity is carrying with her. Not just any plant, _a fern_.

“You brought me a fern?” he asks, his voice catching in his throat a little with emotion.

The significance of the gesture isn’t lost on Oliver. That is the same plant that Felicity gave him for the lair about two years ago, just before they went on their very first date. It’s also the plant that he gave Felicity when they came back to Star City and she had her first day as active CEO at Palmer Tech.

This plant isn’t just any plant for them. It’s their fern. The one they somewhat keep offering to one another to show their support and love. And Oliver likes to think that it is somewhat of a symbol for their relationship.

Felicity bringing one for his office means that there is still hope for their relationship, and it’s not just wishful thinking on his part. She once called it their “love fern,” and Oliver can’t help but read into her buying a new one for him now. A new fern for a new relationship.

Knowing Felicity, she’ll have thought about the message behind such a gesture, and she wouldn’t do it lightly. If she’s doing this, it means that there is still a chance for them to be them again, and they just need time and patience to get back to where they were.

The seed of their love is still there, it just needs time and attention to grow back into being the fully developed love fern it once was.

 _God,_ thinks Oliver. _Being away from Felicity is turning him into a bad lovesick poet._ He really needs to get out of this office and clear his mind more often, before he becomes completely insane.

And of course, Oliver could just be reading way too much into a simple plant. But he’ll chose to ignore that for now.

“I figured your office could use a little decoration,” she says looking around the nearly empty office. “Although I do love what you’ve done with the place.”

Oliver looks around and laughs when he sees the disgusted look Felicity has on her face while viewing the bare white walls, and empty office, save from the desk he is sitting at and two chairs.

“I was going for a minimalist look?” he jokes, and Felicity smiles in answer. “Plus, it’s not like any of my predecessors really stuck around long enough to fully decorate the place.”

“There is that,” she says seriously. “Well nevertheless, since I know _nothing_ is going to happen to you, here is your not-quite-first-day-as-the-mayor-but-close-enough fern. It’s tradition after all.”

She extends her arms and safely puts the plant in the corner of his desk.

“Thank you Felicity. It really means a lot,” he says with a soft smile.

“I also wanted to come by to thank you for what you said the other day.”

Oliver looks at her in confusion. He thinks she is referring to the talk they had about starting her own company, but he doesn’t understand why she would come all the way here to thank him instead of simply saying so at home.

 _At home_. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of saying that again.

“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to jinx it. But I just had a lunch meeting with Curtis and he’s in! He was a little insulted that I didn’t think he’s want to do it — He says thank you for knocking some sense into me by the way. He also said it’s a no on Smoak Technologies if there’s going to be two of us in that company, but I’m sure I’ll end up convincing him,” she says with an excited laugh, eyes shining with happiness.

Oliver smiles at how excited Felicity is at the idea. He hasn’t seen her this lively and happy in a long time, and he’s missed her like this. He’s missed her being her bubbly-self.

He gets up from his chair and he makes his way to the other side of his desk, resting on it so he is face to face with Felicity.

“Congratulations Felicity. I’m really happy for you.”

“Wait, I didn’t tell you the best of it!” she says, poking his chest in excitement. “I took your advice and called Walter after lunch, and we have a meeting next week so Curtis and I can explain the concept and the ideas we had for the microchip. If Walter likes what he hears, he said we could discuss how he could help us start the new company.”

“I told you he would do it without a second thought,” Oliver says, a huge grin on his face. “He’d be stupid not to invest in you, and Walter is far from stupid.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that,” she answers with a soft smile. “But this isn’t a done deal yet. We still have to present the microchip in front of him next week, which brings me to the other reason for my presence. Do you have any plans tonight? If so, how do you feel about cancelling them and helping me prep for this presentation? I know you can’t really understand the whole science behind how the microchip works…”

Oliver lifts his eyebrow in amusement and Felicity stops talking, probably realizing that she just insulted Oliver’s intellect.

“I didn’t mean that you can’t understand because you’re stupid or anything! Just that, you don’t really have the science knowledge to fully comprehend how it works… I’m making it worse aren’t I?” she asks, and Oliver laughs in answer. “What I meant was, I could use your help. You’re great at making speeches whereas I tend to put my foot in my mouth, as I just demonstrated. And, I value your advice.”

Oliver smiles at her, showing her that he understood what she was saying and her shoulders immediately relax.

“Of course I’d love to help you Felicity. And I didn’t have any plans tonight anyway. Although, does that mean that this was a bribe?” he asks teasingly, pointing towards the fern resting on his desk.

“You know it wasn’t,” she answers looking at him dead in the eyes, all traces of giddiness having left her face.

He knows she wants him to see how serious she is, she wants him to understand the meaning behind the gesture. It’s a love fern, as she used to call it. Not a bribe, or anything else.

“The dinner that will be waiting on the table when you come back home is however,” she says lightly after a few seconds of them staring intensely at each other.

“So your idea of a bribe is to give me food poisoning?” he teases, and Felicity smacks him across the chest.

“My cooking isn’t that bad!” she exclaims. “But for your information, I’ll order in from Mama Chow’s. So you’re safe anyway.”

Oliver smiles, but he feels a sudden ache grow in his heart. The banter is so familiar, and this is an argument they had so many times when they were still together. Oliver would make fun of her cooking and how she ‘failed her omelets’, and Felicity would pretend to take offense.

He misses that. He misses the way he and Felicity used to be and act together. He misses them.

Yet, the fern, the banter, the staring. It gives him hope. They aren’t back to the way they were yet, but they’ll get there eventually. He’s almost certain of that.


	6. Part VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm sorry, I completely forgot that I hadn't posted this week!  
> However, I'm happy to announce that I will be posting one chapter every two days until the story is complete so that the entire story can be up before the show is back on. Thank you so much for sticking with me, and thank you to every one who takes the time to comment, it means a lot <3

“Oliver, duck!” he hears Felicity say in his earpiece, and he lowers his, body just in time to avoid a kick that would have hit him right in the back of the head.

He stands back up and quickly faces the man that was about to hit him. He grabs his foot, and throws him on the floor, knocking him unconscious for a little while, before refocusing on the other man standing in front of him.

The person standing in front of Oliver can’t be more than 20, and it pains Oliver to have to hurt him. It pains him even more to think that this is the fifth group of teenagers he has stopped that evening alone.

Since Darhk created havoc in the city, more and more people have been taking advantage of the situation. The amount of petty theft has gone up tenfold in the city, and it’s too much for the police to keep up with.

Oliver is very familiar with the Chief of Police, who comes to his office at least once a week to complain about the lack of man power he has to fight against these delinquents. He knows petty theft is an issue in the city right now, and he’s decided to do everything he can to fight against it. Both as the mayor and as the Green Arrow.

A fist coming straight to his face pulls Oliver out of his head and he refocuses on the fight going on right now. These teenagers may not be too much of a challenge, but it would suck to get bruised on the face because he wasn’t paying attention.

Especially now that he’s mayor, and people would surely have questions if he showed up with a shiner to the office.

He avoids the fist swinging for his face and recovers his position, throwing a few punches himself until the teenager is laying on the floor moaning.

“SCPD is on its way, you should get out of there soon.” Felicity says through the coms.

Oliver looks towards the other four men laying on the floor in different states of unconsciousness, before nodding to himself and making his way towards his bike.

“I’m coming back now,” he says, and he waits for Felicity’s acknowledgment before starting the bike and making his way towards the lair.

When he comes through the door, Felicity instantly turns around on her chair, staring at him intently.

“Anything else we should take care of?” he asks, and Felicity shakes her head to indicate that everything is quiet for now.

“I think we should call it a night. You have to be up early tomorrow for that meeting with the Star City Agriculture Council, and I have to meet up with Curtis,” she says, and Oliver groans.

“Please don’t remind me,” he moans. “I swear if the meeting lasts more than 2 hours, I am walking out of there. I don’t care if one of them is talking at that moment. I can’t take another three hour talk about pesticides.”

She shakes her head in amusement.

“I’m afraid you can’t act that way Mr. Mayor. The people of this city are counting on you to listen and fix their problems.”

“Why did I think running for mayor would be a good idea again?” he says, and Felicity laughs in answer.

“I don’t know, but that one was all you my friend. And I’m afraid there are no take backs now!”

“Too bad. I guess I’ll continue to be a respectable citizen of Star City for a little while longer then.”

Felicity smiles, but Oliver can see the worry shining in her eyes. He’s noticed she’s been subtlety looking him up and down during the entire conversation, trying to see if he sustained any injuries during the night.

“I’m okay, Felicity. I promise,” he says softly, making his way closer until he is standing in front of her chair.

“I just don’t like you going out there without backup. I don’t like the thought of something happening to you, and no one being there to help you.”

She lowers her eyes and Oliver can see her picking her nails, a nervous tick he’s picked up on throughout the years.

He feels a swell of fondness grow, and he can’t quite erase the happiness that is surely showing on his face when he crouches in front of her to be at the same eye level.

He knows that Felicity worries and cares about him, always has and probably always will. Them being broken up will never change that, he realizes that. They obviously still care very much about each other, and when two people have shared the level of feelings they have, it’s impossible to not care.

Still, it’s nice to be reminded sometimes. It’s nice to actually see Felicity worrying about him and his well-being, exactly like she did while they were still together.

“Didn’t we have this conversation before? I already told you, you’re my back up,” he says, laying a hand on her knee.

“And how well did all of that end up last time? You and John both almost got killed, and Curtis and I got attacked in the lair! That is so not the example to use to make me feel better!” she says, looking at him indignantly.

“Ah yes… I didn’t think this one through,” he says with a teasing smile, which has Felicity level him with an unamused look.

“Seriously though, I know you’re worried. And I lo--“. I _love you for that._ That’s what he was going to say, and really wants to admit. But it’s not an option anymore. Not yet at least.

He doesn’t want to make Felicity uncomfortable, especially when they are having an important conversation, so he quickly changes path.

“I like that you’re always worried about all of us, but I promise I’ll be okay.”

Felicity is still avoiding eye contact, and Oliver tentatively reaches forward with his hand, cupping her cheek until she lifts her head back up and looks at him. He can see the worry and unshed tears shining in her eyes, and he instantly feels guilty.

Here he was teasing, and he hadn’t even realized that Felicity was obviously struggling with all of this. It’s been a week since they’ve started back with Arrow business, and although Felicity has made her displeasure known about him working alone several times, she hadn’t seemed overly concerned, and Oliver hadn’t noticed that she was that worried.

“Hey, hey,” he says softly caressing her cheek, and Felicity’s head unconsciously bends so she can nuzzle in his hand. “I promise this isn’t like last time. I’m being careful, and these aren’t ghosts or anyone even similar to them.”

Felicity looks at him and he stares at her, waiting for her to regain her composure. After about a minute, she takes a deep breath to calm herself.

“I’m sorry. I just hate the thought of something happening to you. We’ve already lost Laurel, as well as Thea, John, and my mother in some way… I can’t lose you too. You’re all I have left,” she says, and Oliver’s breath catches in his throat.

They’ve been so focused on their jobs, the lair, the city… That neither of them has really taken the chance to grieve the ones they have lost. It may not be the same as with Laurel, the others haven’t died, but Oliver and Felicity have still lost them none the less. It still hurts to be the ones left behind.

Thank god Felicity stayed, Oliver thinks for the 100th time since he saw her come to him in the lair. He doesn’t know if he would be able to continue with his life if he found himself completely alone once again.

“Oh Felicity… I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think of that,” he says, and Felicity shrugs a little, trying to hide her pain away. “I promise that I’ll only go after people that I am a 100% sure I can take care off without any of them hurting me. I just…. I need to do this. I would feel like such a hypocrite if I didn’t help, knowing what the police are going through.”

Oliver knows this isn’t a promise he will absolutely be able to keep, and he knows Felicity knows that too. She knows him too well to think that he wouldn’t protect the city at all cost if someone like Darhk came back. And Felicity would be right there with him, giving everything to protect Star City.

However he knows that she needs the reassurance, and the sight of Felicity sad and worried guts him. It’s easier for the both of them to just believe it for now.

“I know, and you need to do this. Staying on the sidelines while others risk getting hurt isn’t you. I know that. I just…. I need you to be careful. Please.”

Oliver looks at her and nods in answer, bringing the hand that was cupping her face down and reaching for one of her own.

“I promise I’ll be careful. And I have you too. I know you don’t believe me, but I never feel alone out there, as long as I have you in my ear,” he says, and Felicity squeezes his hand in answer.

“Thank you,” she says softly, bending forward to press a quick kiss on his cheek, before taking a deep breath and pulling back slightly to turn her chair around.

Oliver stands back up, a small smile on his face. His cheek is tingling with the feel of Felicity’s lips on his skin, and he can’t help the happiness growing inside of him now.

He hates seeing Felicity sad and worried, he always has. But god, it feels good to have her touch him that way, like she used to.

Oliver makes his way towards where the lockers are to take off his Arrow suit and put his civilian clothes back on.

A few minutes later, he comes back out in the lair with his suit folded in his arms, and he sees that Felicity has shut off all her computers, and is ready to go.

“How about you offer me a burger for having me worried sick all night? Big Belly Burger? It’ll be your treat, since you are the employed one, for once,” she says with a small smile.

Oliver knows that in the few minutes it took him to change clothes, she has managed to regain her composure and push her worries under the rug. He wishes she didn’t feel the need to do that, but he also knows her enough to know that it’s what she needs to do.

For all that she talks a lot, Felicity doesn’t spend a lot of time talking about herself, or her worries or fears. And Oliver knows that just the fact that she opened up to him tonight and let herself be vulnerable in front of him means more than most people would think.

It’s one of the reasons he loves her. She’s not afraid to be herself in front of him.

Still, he also realizes that she’s not comfortable being that open all the time, and she needs to save face and lighten the atmosphere by being her happy and bubbly face. He loves that about her too.

To be honest, he doesn’t think there is any facet of Felicity Smoak he doesn’t love, and he’ll always want to spend time with whatever side of herself she’s willing to share.

One day, they’ll reach the point where he can call her out on hiding her emotions away behind humor again, and he’ll be able to remind her that he’s always there for her and he knows her, just like he has so many times while they were together.

But for now, he’s more than happy to spend time with her, and this is more than enough.

“Deal.”


	7. Part VII

“Oliver, I’m going grocery shopping later today, was there anything you needed?” Felicity asks, entering the kitchen and making a beeline for the pot of coffee.

Oliver lifts his head up from where he is eating his cereal on the counter, and smiles in greeting.

“You look nice,” he says when he sees the light blue blouse Felicity is wearing. It was always one of his favorites because the color matches her eyes and it showcases all of her curves nicely.

The sudden memories of him ravishing her on the counter because of that very blouse rush to the front of his mind, and he clears his dry throat.

“Thank you,” she answers, and Oliver notices the blush growing on her cheeks, telling him she is probably remembering the exact same thing.

“I have a couple things that I wanted to buy,” he finally says in answer to her initial question. “When were you thinking of going? I have to work all day, but…”

“You can just add them to the list, you don’t have to come with me if you’re busy. I think I’ll go this afternoon,” Felicity explains, while pointing to a piece of paper laying on the counter that Oliver hadn’t noticed before.

Nodding in answer, Oliver reaches for the yellow notepad sheet and a pen laying on the counter, before adding the few items he needs to buy at the end of the list.

Once he’s done with that, he glances at the rest of the list out of curiosity, and the more he reads, the more worried he gets.

 

_Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream_

_Cookie Dough_

_Cheddar cheese Pringles_

_Hershey’s Chocolate bars_

 

It goes on and on that way for most of the list. He can’t believe this. He can’t believe that this is all that Felicity had been planning on buying to feed herself.

“Felicity, what is this?” he asks, his voice dangerously low.

“Hmm?” she asks, lifting her head from where she is busy spreading peanut butter on toast. How had he not noticed this since he moved back in?

He just shakes the list a bit in her direction, indicating what he is referring to, and Felicity looks at him as if he has lost his mind.

“It’s the shopping list,” she says, phrasing it like a question, and probably wondering what has gotten into him.

“I see that,” he says, staring at her in disbelief. “What I meant was, why is this your shopping list?”

“What do you mean? It’s a perfectly reasonable list!” she says indignantly, her lips pouting slightly and Oliver can’t help but smile at her, even though he is genuinely concerned about her eating habits.

“Ice Cream, Cookie Dough, Ho Hos, Hershey’s… Felicity, you only have junk food on here!” he says in exasperation.

“That’s not true, there’s plenty of healthy stuff!” she says in protest, walking closer to him and standing at his back, reading the list over his shoulder. “Look, there are even some fruits there!”

“Felicity, Skittles and banana muffins are not fruits,” he says sternly, before putting the list back on the table and turning towards her.

“When were you planning on going to the store? I’ll come with you and we can shop together,” he tells her, and Felicity glares at him stubbornly.

After a few seconds of them just glaring at each other, she sighs loudly and rolls her eyes.

“I was going to go around five, and you have work this afternoon. You can’t just blow that off, Mr. Mayor.”

Silence follows her statement, as Oliver tries to think of a solution. She’s right unfortunately. He does have to work, but there has to be something that can be done, and he knows just the person who can help.

Oliver nods decidedly, before picking up his phone from the counter and dialing his secretary’s number.

“Miranda? Hello, it’s Oliver. I’m sorry to bother you this early in the morning, I was just wondering if by any chance you were already at work and had my schedule close by?” he asks, and tries to hold his smile when he sees Felicity’s glare intensify.

“You are? That’s perfect. Do you think you could clear my schedule for a couple hours around five this afternoon? Something has come up, and I’m really needed at home. It could very well be a matter of life and death,” he continues, which has Miranda worryingly asking if everything is okay on the phone, while Felicity just scoffs in answer.

He reassures his secretary, and waits a few moments while she makes all of the arrangements, before thanking her and hanging up once she lets him know that his schedule has been cleared by five o’clock this afternoon.

“You can’t be serious,” Felicity says in disbelief, as soon as Oliver hangs up the phone.

“I’ve found that being the mayor has some perks I didn’t think about before,” he says with a smug smile. “People are surprisingly eager to help me out, especially when I mention it’s an emergency. And Miranda is one of the best at what she does out there, so I knew I could count on her to make this work.”

“You’re being ridiculous Oliver. I don’t need you to micro-manage me or my diet,” Felicity answers, rolling her eyes in frustration again.

Hearing this, Oliver sobers instantly and he looks at her seriously. He doesn’t want Felicity to think he doesn’t trust her to take care of herself or that he’s trying to control her, but he also can’t let her go on like that.

He knows that Felicity isn’t the best cook and that her love for fast food and chocolate could allow her to eat it all the time. And he just loves her too much to let her continue to eat that way.

“I know you somehow have the ability to eat like a college frat boy and remain the petite, blond, beautiful woman you are,” he says, ignoring Felicity’s cry of indignation at being compared to frat boys, “but you’re not immune to heart disease, Felicity. I care about you, and I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he continues softly.

 _I plan on spending the rest of my life with you and I want you around for a long time,_ is what he really means and wants to say, but he knows they aren’t ready for that yet. It’s too soon for Felicity to hear those words and actually believe them, and Oliver promised himself he would take things slow, without pressuring Felicity in any way.

He sees Felicity deflate, and she finally nods in agreement.

“Fine, you can come with me and I’ll let you buy tons of healthy food. But you’ll have to cook them for me! You know how helpless I can be with a cooking pan…” she says sternly.

“I am looking forward to it,” he says in answer, smiling happily.

\------

Five o’clock comes, and Oliver and Felicity are browsing the aisles of the store, bickering about what food to buy.

“You know technically, Ben and Jerry’s is a very healthy choice of ice cream, and I don’t see why you won’t let me buy at least one pint of it. First off, it’s made with natural ingredients. Well, I’m sure they add some artificial flavors, there is just no way it’s that good without it. But still, in comparison to other ice creams, I’d say it’s doing pretty good. And I just…”

Felicity continues her rant and Oliver can’t help but stare at her with a soft smile on his face. He’d never thought he’d miss Felicity rambling endleslly while trying to convince him of something, but he did.

The argument is very similar to some they used to have almost weekly in Ivy Town, and the domestic feeling of grocery shopping with Felicity makes him incredibly happy. It’s such a mundane activity, but he can’t help but think that this is one of the clearest signs he’s seen that they are growing back together.

Domesticity and doing mundane activities like shopping is after all what essentially constitutes being married and living together, and what Oliver has been craving for so long. He knows they aren’t in the bubble they were in while living in Ivy Town and that their life will never be the same as it was then.

But them arguing about which cereal is the best, or debating the merits of seedless grapes versus regular grapes is a clear sign that the life they once had is still reachable, and they are still _them_.

He and Felicity aren’t where they were then, but the fact that they feel comfortable enough to tease and banter with each other like they used to fills Oliver with joy. They’ll get there eventually.

“...And some of them even have fruits in them, like banana! Granted, there is also delicious chocolate chunks in it, but still. Fruit, Oliver! You can’t just deny the fact that—”

“Excuse me,” a soft voice interrupts Felicity’s rant. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but do you think you could reach for the light blue dish soap at the top of the shelf?”

Oliver and Felicity both turn towards the voice, and they are faced with a small elderly woman, looking at Oliver with a soft smile, trying to hold a laugh.

Before the island, he was the type of man that old ladies would glare at in stores because of his loud and crude demeanor. He never thought he would become the type they reached out to to ask for favors, and more than anything, he never thought he would be so happy about it.

“Of course,” he says with a kind smile, before turning around and reaching for the bottle the woman is pointing at.

“Thank you very much, sir,” she says gratefully. “Now, I couldn’t help but hear part of the conversation, and you should really listen to this young lady. What is the point of living life if we can’t enjoy the simple pleasures? We only have one life, we might as well enjoy it while we can!”

Oliver blinks in surprise at the woman, and before he has the time to say anything, Felicity elbows him in the side and turns victoriously towards him.

“You see Oliver? I told you so! Thank you so much for helping me make my point, ma’am. Now Oliver, I’m going to listen to this wise lady and go get some proper ice cream.”

She reaches into the cart and takes out the frozen yogurt that Oliver had put there earlier, grimacing as if only the sight of it repulses her.

“Would you like anything?” she asks politely, turning back towards the woman looking at them with laughter in her eyes.

The woman shakes her head indicating she doesn’t want anything, and Felicity turns back towards Oliver and looks at him, silently daring him to disagree with her.

“Fine. Go ahead,” he says with a fond smile, and Felicity smiles in victory and thanks the woman again, before turning around and making her way towards the aisle where the ice cream is kept.

The old woman laughs softly next to him, and Oliver turns towards her, still smiling at Felicity’s antics.

“Your wife seems like a lovely person,” she says with a kind smile. “I’ve seen the look in both of your eyes before too. You remind me of my late husband and I, and I can already tell you’ll have a very happy and long-lasting marriage.”

Oliver’s heart warms at her words and he smiles gratefully towards the woman, who is looking at him knowingly. He thinks about correcting her assumption about him and Felicity being together, let alone married, but he finds himself not wanting to.

If everything turns out the way he wants, they will be married one day, and stay that way for a very long time.

“Thank you,” he says with a grateful smile, and the woman just smiles in answer before walking away from him, putting her dish soap in the basket she is carrying.

Without even knowing it, this kind woman has given him so much to hope for. She hadn’t just meant the way Oliver looks at Felicity, but also the way Felicity looks at him, and the idea that his feelings could be reciprocated fills him with joy.

He may not be able to see it yet, but if Felicity really does still look at him with the love and caring he himself feels towards her, he knows they will eventually be okay.

And when they do get back together, Oliver doesn’t plan on letting her go for a very long time. Even if that means constantly arguing with her about her eating habits.

He never thought he would say this, but he is looking forward to a lifetime of arguing with Felicity.


	8. Part VIII

_I find myself in front of a building, and I can feel my heart beating 100 miles an hour in my chest. Images of what I could see once I enter the building start clouding my mind, and I feel the worry and fear grow within me._

_I take a deep breath and push the door open, entering the building._

_“Hello Oliver, it took you long enough.” A voice comes from the darkness, and although it is too dark to see who spoke, I would recognize that voice anywhere._

_My breath catches in my throat. It’s not possible. He’s dead, it’s not possible. I make my way closer, until the figure standing in the darkness becomes clearer._

_“It’s not possible,” I finally say, and I hear a dark laugh. “It’s not possible, I killed you.”_

_“Oh Oliver, haven’t you learned anything? It’s impossible to kill me,” the voice says, walking into the spotlight between us._

_With the light shining, I can finally see clearly the person in front of me. And here he is. Darhk. My worst enemy. He’s back._

_“Have you come to collect your son? I’m afraid it’s already too late Oliver,” Darhk says with an evil smile, taking a step to the side and allowing me to see the small body lying on the floor._

_“No…” I say, feeling my heart break inside my chest._

_“You’re too late Oliver, you should have been quicker. You should have protected him better, you should have been a better father.”_

_I make my way closer to the body and I throw myself on the floor, taking the young boy into my arms._

_“No, William, please. Wake up. WILLIAM, WAKE UP, I…”_

“Oliver, wake up!”

Oliver is pulled out of sleep by a voice in his ear and someone shaking him gently.

Before he has the time to fully register what is happening, his survival instincts kick in, and he grabs his opponents by the wrist, flipping them around until he has him pinned on the bed under him.

“Oliver, it’s okay. It’s just me,” he hears, but the voice is too far away for him to recognize it. He is breathing loudly, and he can’t seem to catch his breath.

“Oliver, it’s Felicity. You’re okay, you’re safe. I promise everything is okay. It was just a nightmare.”

Finally, the voice manages to pierce through the images clouding Oliver’s mind, and he registers the words.

“Felicity?” he asks, finally focusing on her, eyes roaming her face to check for any sign of fear. When he doesn’t find any, he is finally able to relax slightly. They don’t seem to be in any imminent danger, or he would have seen it on her face.

There’s no fear in Felicity’s eyes, but he can see that something is bothering her. She’s worried, and Oliver starts to frown. There’s something else in her eyes, but he isn’t quite able to discern the emotion.

Is she embarrassed? No, that doesn’t make sense. Why would she be embarrassed right now?

“Yes, it’s me. I’m sorry I woke you up, you were having a nightmare. I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just that—It seemed pretty bad,” she says softly, and Oliver finally understands.

She’s worried about him.

Darhk, William… Flashes of his nightmare start coming back to him, and he starts to remember. It was a bad one, he can only imagine how loud he was.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Oliver, it’s okay,” she says, her eyes softening with her words. “You didn’t wake me up, I was already awake and making my way to the kitchen when I heard you. I couldn’t just walk by and leave you that way. It just—It sounded like you were in pain. I didn’t think you would mind being pulled away from that particular dream.”

“Thank you,” he says. He can’t smile yet, not with the flashes of his dead son still running through his mind, but he hopes that Felicity sees the gratefulness in his eyes.

She smiles softly in answer, but there are still traces of embarrassment in her eyes. She wiggles on the bed, and Oliver suddenly registers the position they are in.

Oh. That would explain it.

Oliver is laying on top of her, and has her pinned to the bed by the wrists. He takes a few seconds to appreciate having her this close to him, and the fact that she doesn’t seem particularly bothered by it, just slightly embarrassed, before hastily pushing away from her and getting up from the bed.

“I’m sorry,” he says, bending his head and closing his eyes. Him attacking her while asleep is probably not the best strategy to win her back. And although Felicity hadn’t seemed too bothered, he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

She sits back up on the bed, before standing up in front of him and reaching for his hand while trying to catch his eyes.

“It’s completely fine Oliver. You didn’t hurt me or anything, I promise,” she says earnestly.

He takes a deep breath to calm his still racing heart, before lifting his head back up and smiling softly at her.

“I was about to go and make myself a cup of tea, care to join me?” she asks, and Oliver feels his heart squeeze in his chest.

Cuddling on the couch while drinking tea was exactly what him and Felicity used to do whenever he had a nightmare while they were still together. While both Felicity and he are coffee people, tea quickly became their comfort drink, and he’s happy to know that Felicity still follows that tradition, and moreover, is willing to share it with him once again.

“Sure.”

They make their way towards the kitchen, and Oliver sits on one of the stools while Felicity sets up making the tea. Once she is done, she hands him a warm mug, and puts her own on the bar, sitting on the stool next to his.

Oliver takes a sip of his tea, and he hides his smiles with the mug when he tastes the honey in it. She remembered.

For a while, they sit in companionable silence, enjoying their tea and each other’s company.

After a few minutes, Felicity turns towards him and Oliver sees the concern and affection shining in her eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks softly, and Oliver stays silent for a few seconds.

He _would_ like to talk about it as a matter of fact, but he doesn’t know if he should. The nightmare didn’t just come out of nowhere, and he wants a second opinion on all of this. However, he also knows that the subject of William is a sensitive one for them.

They’ve been doing so well lately, he doesn’t want to risk ruining everything by stirring up old memories.

He shakes his head minutely.

“Why were you up?” he says instead of answering, and Felicity nods, accepting the change of subject without insisting.

That has always been one of the things he loves the most about Felicity. She’s always known when it was important for her to push, and when she should just back away. She never forces him to tell her about his demons, instead choosing to let him come to her when he’s ready, and he appreciates that more than she probably knows.

“I had a nightmare,” she says, and Oliver turns towards her, surprised. “Don’t look so surprised, you haven’t cornered the market on nightmares.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he says, realizing how that must have looked. Of course, he’s not the only one with issues. He knows that.

“It’s fine,” she says, shaking the thought away. “It’s just… I have to come to terms with some of the things I’ve done too. And it’s taking more of a toll than I thought it would.”

Oliver frowns at that, thinking about what Felicity could possibly have to blame herself for. He looks at her, trying to read her, but she’s looking down at her cup of tea, avoiding his eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks in turn, and Felicity smiles sadly at that.

“Not really, but I think I probably should anyway,” she finally says, and Oliver nods and waits for her to start, giving her the time to get her thoughts in order.

“Sometimes, I lay awake at night, thinking about everything that happened, everything I did. I think about that day and I hear them begging, screaming…”

Oliver frowns in confusion, who is she talking about? His arm pushes forward, reaches for one of her hands. She grabs it and squeezes it with hers, seemingly finding strength in the movement.

“Did Lyla tell you what happened with the bombs?” she says when she sees his look of confusion, her voice cracking in the middle of the sentence. A sense of dread fills Oliver. “Well, sometimes at night, I can hear all of their voices. All 10.000 of them. And I know it doesn’t make sense, and that it’s not possible, but I can’t seem to make them go away. The voices of all the people I ki—“

“Felicity,” he says, cutting her off and reaching forward, putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her towards him, until her forehead rests on his chest. “You’re not responsible for their deaths, Darhk is. I know what you’re feeling. Trust me, I know. But you saved hundreds of thousands of lives that day.”

Felicity’s hand catches his shirt and she squeezes it, as if trying to pull him even closer. Oliver holds her tighter with his arm, and kisses the top of her head.

“But what about the 10.000 people I condemned Oliver? The bomb wasn’t heading for them, and I’m the one who chose to reroute it towards them. Who am I to make that decision?” her voice sounds so small, and Oliver feels his heart break in his chest.

He knows too what Felicity is talking about, and he never wanted her to feel that way. He knows what it’s like to blame yourself for the death of others, to have to choose between the lesser of two evils, and it’s a horrible feeling.

“Remember what you told me when I told you about Shado? You said it wasn’t my fault, that I wasn’t the one that killed her—“ Oliver tries to explain, but he feels Felicity shake her head against his chest before pushing herself back up and looking at him.

He sees the tears running down her cheeks, and the hate he feels for Darhk increases tenfold. Something he didn’t think possible after everything the man had already done to them.

“It’s not the same Oliver, you were forced to choose, and you didn’t actually—“ she starts to say, but Oliver pushes forward and cups her face in his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

“But it is Felicity. You didn’t launch the bombs. You didn’t kill those people. What you did was save a lot of people by making a choice no one should ever have to make. I can’t imagine what it must have cost you to reroute that bomb, knowing it would land on a city, but by doing so, you saved so many people who are alive today because of you.”

Felicity looks at him, and after a few seconds, she nods sadly.

“I know. Intellectually, I know that… But it just hurts. And I hate myself for making that choice,” she says. “How could I be so pragmatic about human lives? What kind of human being can actually choose between two evils that way?” she says, shaking her head in disgust.

“A hero, that’s who.” Oliver says decidedly, and Felicity looks at him in shock. “I know it hurts, and that this will probably haunt you for the rest of your life, and I am so so sorry for that. I never wanted you to feel that way. But what you did? It was nothing short of heroic. By acting under pressure and making the choice you did, by choosing to sacrifice some, you managed to save so many other lives. So when you hear those voices in your head? Those 10,000 voices? Try to focus on all the people you saved. Try to listen for the voices of those hundreds of thousands of people. You did the right thing, Felicity. I promise you that. You made the right choice, and any of us would have told you to do the exact same thing.”

At those words, Felicity’s shoulders seem to relax a little, even though Oliver can still see immense pain in her eyes. He knows that this won’t be something that will get better so easily. Felicity will most likely continue to blame herself.

But maybe telling her that she made the right choice, reminding her that they would have done the same thing, will help her forgive herself. And Oliver is willing to repeat it to her every day if that is what it takes.

She nods in understanding, and takes a deep breath, trying to pull back the tears and calm down.

Oliver bends forward and presses a kiss to Felicity’s forehead, before taking his arm back and turning towards his cold cup of tea, giving Felicity time to compose herself. After about a minute, she reaches forward and squeezes one of his hands into hers in appreciation, before putting it back around her cup of tea.

She takes a sip of her tea, and Oliver thinks about what she just told him.

If Felicity was willing to open up to him this much, and share the thing that has been keeping her awake at night with him, why couldn’t he do the same?

He knows that William is a sensitive subject for them, but if he wants their relationship back, he has to trust Felicity the way she trusts him.

He takes a deep breath, gaining strength, before he finally says.

“It was about William.” Felicity turns towards him and looks at him patiently, understanding in her eyes. “My nightmare was about William. I had a dream about Darhk killing him…”

When he doesn’t say anything else, she reaches forward and puts her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in comfort while the tip of her fingers caress his neck.

“I didn’t know you were having nightmares about that,” she says softly, worry clear in her eyes.

“I haven’t had any in a long time, not until recently. It’s just—“ he says, cutting himself off and trying to think of the best way to express what is on his mind.

Felicity waits patiently, and when Oliver looks into her eyes, he only sees understanding and affection there, no trace of judgement or resentment.

“I’ve been thinking about him a lot these days…” he says hesitantly.

Felicity stares at him, waiting for him to continue.

“With everything that was happening with Darhk, I didn’t really have any time to think about the situation, or what was the best thing to do. At the time, it was clear to me that sending William away was the best thing, for his own protection. Now though… Now that Darhk is dead, I’ve just been questioning my choices a lot I guess,” he says quietly.

Neither of them say anything for the longest time, and Oliver can’t help but fidget in his seat. When he looks up, he is surprised to find a thoughtful look on Felicity’s face.

“You know, Darhk is dead now, like you said. I know that you decided that it wouldn’t be wise for you to get to know William because of the danger for him, but he wouldn’t be in any imminent danger anymore. I think that it is normal for you to want to get to know your son, and that it is something you could actually do now…”

Oliver’s heart warms at her words. He shouldn’t be surprised that Felicity is only thinking about him, and that she would encourage him to get to know William, but somehow, he is.

They may not be together anymore, but they are growing closer every day, and he knows that she can feel it too. He thought that it would have been hard for her if Oliver ever decided he wanted to be a part of William’s life, but he should have known that Felicity would be as gracious as she always is, and think of others first.

He thinks about her words, and although he wishes it could be that simple, he knows it isn’t.

“I don’t think I could do it,” he says sadly. “Damien Darhk may be dead, but there will always be another Darhk. Or Slade, or Merlyn… There will always be danger in our life, and I just don’t think I can risk losing him that way.”

“And I understand that,” she answers. “But in a way, haven’t you lost him already? He’s not in your life Oliver. And before you say it, I know what you’re thinking, at least he’s alive. But haven’t you learned anything through me? Or even Thea? We are all better off knowing you Oliver, and I’m sure that would be true for William too. Sure, maybe his life isn’t as much in danger now as it could be with you in his life, but if Darhk managed to find him in spite of the fact that you barely saw William, don’t you think others could too?”

Oliver turns towards Felicity, and he stares at her for a moment. He had never thought of things that way. He’d been so focused on the fact that William was in danger because he was his son, that he never thought about the fact that Oliver had barely been in William’s life when he got taken. So would getting to know him now really make that much of a difference?

Felicity smiles softly at him, probably understanding that she’s given him a lot to think about. He needs time to process her words and think more about the situation.

“I know that you want to protect him,” she says getting up from her stool and turning towards him. “And you’re right, the danger will always be present as long as we do what we do. But maybe staying away from him isn’t the best way to do that. Maybe the best way to protect him is actually to be there for him, to get to know him, to teach him about the dangers in this world once he is older. Right now, if something were to happen to either of you, I can guarantee your biggest regret would be not getting to know him while you had the chance. Life is too short to just let opportunities like those fly by Oliver, and you deserve to live and be happy, just like the rest of us. Just think about it, please.”

Oliver looks at her and nods softly, and Felicity smiles in answer, squeezing his shoulder one last time before starting to walk towards the door.

“Felicity?” he stops her before she makes her way through the door, and she turns back towards him. “Thank you.”

“Anytime. Thank you for being honest and opening up about him, I know that couldn’t have been easy,” she says with a gentle smile before exiting the room.

Oliver drains the rest of the cold tea sitting in his mug, before getting up himself and making his way back towards his bedroom. He has a lot to think about.

Felicity has given him a new perspective on the issue. A new way of looking at the situation, and a new sense of hope.

Maybe there actually is a way for him to have everything after all. Maybe he could actually be the Green Arrow, be with Felicity, and be a decent father to William.

Felicity believes he can do it and that he deserves happiness, maybe now it’s up to him to believe that and let himself be happy.

 


	9. Part IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it hasn't been two days yet... But I'm really excited for you guys to read the ending (so that it can hopefully give us hope when we see the first episode of the season and certain unpleasant images, let's say ;)).  
> All jokes apart, I'm really looking forward to this new season, and super happy to share this with you, so I hope you enjoy!  
> Thank you to everyone who takes the time to comment, it really means a lot to me.

“ _Why did I ever think going to this benefit was a good idea?_ ” Oliver wonders, dreading the coming evening.

Oliver is sitting on the bed, staring at his newly-tailored suit and wondering when this became his life. Or rather, when did this start being his life again?

He is no newbie when it comes to attending fancy events and talking to rich, intellectual people. He attended enough of Moira Queen’s parties to be used to all that. It’s just that this is the first time he will actually have to really interact with these people, and try to impress them.

These events used to be very different for him. He remembers going to them with Tommy, both of them getting drunk and seeing who could get the most numbers by hitting on all the women during the evening.

How things have changed.

No more women, no more alcohol, and most of all, no more Tommy.

This time, he’ll spend the evening chatting up potential investors, drinking one or two champagne flutes at the most, and go alone.

Well, he didn’t run for mayor because he thought it would be fun.

He just wishes he didn’t have to go to these events. Although he loves being able to help the city he loves, Oliver absolutely loathes all the red tape and ass-kissing that comes with being the mayor.

“Are you okay? You look like someone just told you arrows are out of fashion. Sorry to break it to you, but they have been for quite a while. I told you years ago using a bow and arrow is ridiculous,” he hears Felicity say.

He can’t help but snort at her sentence, but he turns towards her and glares teasingly.

Felicity smiles, before making her way into the bedroom and looking at him curiously.

“I have to go to this benefit tonight and try to impress all of these people to get them to donate money for the new hospital wing, and I just hate these things,” he complains.

“Really? I would have thought Ollie Queen went to quite a few of those in his days,” Felicity says, bumping her shoulder with his when she sits on the bed next to him.

“He did,” says Oliver. “It doesn’t mean I liked them. And I’m going to have to talk to all of these doctors, lawyers, and businessmen who are all ten times smarter than I am. I’m just not looking forward to an evening of looking like an idiot while wearing a tight suit.”

“But you wear it so well,” Felicity murmurs, obviously not wanting for him to hear, before she looks up at him and frowns.

“You’re far from being an idiot Oliver,” she says disapprovingly.

“I know that. But somehow, I think dropping out of four colleges isn’t going to impress them,” he says self-deprecatingly.

“There are different types of intelligence Oliver, you know that. So you dropped out of college and got a D in Algebra in tenth grade? You have plenty of other qualities, and you may not be school smart, but it doesn’t mean you’re not smart. I read a fascinating article about the different forms of intelligences, and let me tell you that you have many of th—“

“Felicity,” Oliver says, cutting her off mid-sentence.

Felicity babbling is one of the things he loves about her, but he also knows she can go on and on about subjects that interest her, and he does have somewhere to be tonight.

“Right. I was getting a little off track there…” she says, blushing.

“A little,” he says, hiding his laugh badly.

“My point was, you’re smart Oliver. And more than anything, these people elected you, you don’t need to impress them.”

“It’s not as if they really had a lot of choice candidate-wise. Plus, they never actually elected me,” he says. “But I know what you mean, and I appreciate it. Thank you,” he continues when he sees the look on her face.

The words aren’t really as comforting as Felicity probably wants them to be, but he appreciates them nonetheless. He knows that being elected for mayor doesn’t mean that people will instantly trust him and be willing to donate money. He may have a different type of intelligence, as Felicity says, but he would still like to be able to keep up with all of Star City’s elite, and he knows that isn’t really his strong suit.

Felicity would probably be great at it though, he thinks.

Her being there would also make the evening a lot more enjoyable. Plus, he’ll never say no to spending an entire evening with Felicity in formal wear. God knows his ex-fiancée can wear a dress.

“What are you doing tonight, Felicity?” he asks, and he sees Felicity start shaking her head immediately.

“Oh no, Oliver. You can’t just invite me to a benefit with a couple hours warning, I need time to get ready!” she says indignantly.

“Please, Felicity,” he says pleadingly. “You’ll be able to keep up with all of them, and I’d be a lot less nervous with you there with me. Plus, I hate going to these events, and your presence would make it a lot more enjoyable.”

He sees Felicity hesitating, and he can tell she is still skeptic about the idea.

“Plus, I’ve seen you get ready in no time during the Dodger case. I know you’ll look beautiful, just like you did that evening.”

Felicity blushes at his words, and Oliver feels a surge of fondness.

It amazes him that Felicity doesn’t realize how pretty she is, and that she’s still surprised and bashful when someone notices it.

“What time?” she asks, and Oliver smiles happily.

He likes the prospects for this evening a lot better already.

“We’d leave around 7.30,” he says, and Felicity nods.

“Okay, I’d better go and get ready then.” She says, getting up from the bed.

“Thank you, Felicity,” he says, catching her hand and squeezing it gratefully. She smiles down at him, and leaves the room, probably to go and get ready.

A couple hours later, Oliver is dressed in one of his finest suits, pacing back and forth in the living room while waiting for Felicity to come down.

He knows it’s stupid, but he can’t help but feel nervous. As if he was a 16-year-old boy going on his first date, and not a 30-something man going to a work event.

This evening, even though it is far from a date, is still one of the first times since they broke up that he and Felicity are going out together. Between beating Darhk, rebuilding the lair, and working through their complicated relationship, they haven’t really had the time to get out of the house to do things together.

They spend plenty of time together, of course. They both live here and spend some time together casually hanging out around the loft, and they both go to the lair at least 3 or 4 times a week for Arrow business, but this feels different.

It is different. It’s Felicity accepting to be his date to a work event. And even though he knows she isn’t his _date_ date and Felicity only came as a favor to him, he still feels incredibly nervous.

After another minute of pacing, Oliver hears someone walking down the stairs, and when he turns to face them, the sight of Felicity takes his breath away.

Maybe he is a 16 year old going on his first date after all.

Felicity beams down at him, and Oliver swallows discreetly, lust and love battling within his body.

Part of her hair is pinned up elaborately at the back of her head, while the rest of it curls down around her face and fall delicately on her shoulders. Felicity’s smile and the bright red lipstick she is wearing underlines her luscious lips, and Oliver’s eyes are drawn to them almost instantly. How he misses those lips.

The light makeup she is wearing on the rest of her face highlights her eyes and prominent cheeks, and showcase her natural beauty and grace.

Oliver’s eyes finally travel down her body, and he feels his penis harden in his pants when he sees what she is wearing. She looks amazing, and her dress is _green_. She’s wearing his color. And even though it may not have been a conscious decision on her part, it’s still pretty significant and she looks so good Oliver wishes he could just take her upstairs and undress her right now.

She’s wearing a long dress with a deep neckline, showing off her breasts. His eyes travel from her delicate shoulders, before being drawn to the patches of skin which can be seen where the dress cuts off on her sides.

He’s aware of how cliché this whole situation is. The girl comes down the stairs all dressed up and completely transformed, and the boy ogles her and falls in love with her, finally noticing how beautiful she’s been all along.

Only, Oliver has always known how beautiful Felicity was. He noticed it the first time he entered her office with a bullet-riddled computer, and although he was still hung up on Laurel, he instantly noticed how pretty the blond IT expert was.

Her calling him out on his lies and not taking his bullshit are what really hooked him though, and although it took him awhile to recognize and admit it, he knows he started falling for her right that moment.

Felicity reaches the bottom of the stairs and she smiles at him.

“You look quite handsome, Mr. Queen,” she says with a teasing smile, turning around and grabbing her phone sitting on the table to put it in her purse.

Once her back is to him, Oliver feels a new rush of desire when he sees the dress stops just above her waistline, leaving her entire back bare. His eyes travel the expanse of her skin, before focusing back on her face when she turns back towards him.

“You look really beautiful,” he says after clearing his throat, and Felicity smiles softly at him, blushing at his words.

“Thank you,” she says bashfully.

“Shall we go?” he says, extending his arm and escorting her out of the loft once Felicity puts her hand around it.

“I am so glad we aren’t taking the Ducati,” says Felicity laughing, while climbing into the passenger seat a few minutes later.

Oliver laughs in answer, before starting the car and taking off towards where the benefit is being held.

The car ride passes quickly and allows Oliver time to recover from the sight that is Felicity, and refocus on what is important tonight. As soon as he turns the car on, she turns towards him and asks him about the other guests and which donors they need to convince, which means the rest of the ride is spent with Oliver explaining everything he knows to her.

They reach the benefit, and Oliver stops the car, giving his keys to one of the parking valets, before making his way to the passenger door and opening it up for Felicity to help her out of the car.

They start walking towards the ball room and Oliver delicately puts his hand on Felicity’s lower back, guiding her towards the proper room. He feels goosebumps raise on her skin, and he smiles gently at her reaction.

At least he’s not the only one affected tonight. It’s nice to know he can still have that effect on her with a simple touch.

Once they reach the ball room, Oliver is instantly accosted by several people thanking him for coming and asking him a bunch of questions about his future projects for the city.

He and Felicity are separated, and he sees her wink at him, before making her way towards Mr. Howard, one of the top lawyers in the city who is well known for donating money to the city.

Looks like he won’t get to spend the evening at Felicity’s side after all. But at least, he was right thinking she would be able to help him tonight.

For about an hour, every time Oliver manages to escape a conversation, he is cornered by another person who wants to talk to him. He tries in vain to join Felicity, but unable to do so, he watches her from the corner of his eye. When he sees that she seems to be comfortable and is still deep in conversation with Mr. Howard and a few other people, he relaxes and refocuses on the conversation at hand.

The first time Felicity and Oliver had gone to an event like this one together, he had been shocked at how at ease she seemed with everything. Felicity was able to easily move from person to person and talk with almost anyone, whether it be Star City’s elite, or the people catering the event.

Of course now that he knows her, he realizes he should have known better.

Felicity has a certain ease to her, and she may babble quite a bit, especially when she is around him, but she can also speak to people very easily. Out of the two of them, Felicity is the one with all the conversation skills, so it shouldn’t have surprised him.

After about an hour, dinner is announced and Oliver is finally able to make his way to Felicity so they can go and sit together. He approaches and put his hand on her back to gain her attention, which startles her a little.

He goes to remove his hand, not wanting to overcome his welcome but stops when Felicity recovers from her surprise and leans into his hand instead, turning to smile softly at him before turning back to the man in front of her.

Oliver’s breath catches in his throat at the move. It seems like such an intimate thing, and Felicity, who is still plunged in conversation, did it without even thinking about it.

Mr. Howard turns towards Oliver and extends his hand in greeting. They shake hands and, although Oliver blames him for having to remove his hand from Felicity’s skin to do it, he forces a smile on his face.

“Mr. Queen, nice to see you,” says Mr. Howard with a kind smile. “Where are you sitting? I thought that maybe we could all sit together. Your wife has made very compelling arguments as to why I should donate money to your project, and I have to admit that with such high recommendations, I am looking forward to hear what you have to say.”

It takes a few seconds to wonder why he would think he and Felicity are married, before he remembers the very public wedding they had a couple months ago, and the nonexistent fake divorce.

He opens his mouth to correct the man. It’s one thing to let an old lady in the grocery store believe they are married, but it is completely different to let someone Felicity was talking to assume that, especially when she is right next to him.

However before he can say anything, Felicity takes his hand into hers and squeezes it gently. He turns towards her in surprise, and he sees her shake her head discreetly before winking at him and turning back to the man in front of them.

She’s asking him to trust her with this, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t listen. He won’t make the same mistakes twice.

“I have to say Mr. Queen, you are quite the lucky man. Your wife is an impressive woman,” Mr. Howard continues as they take their seats at the table.

“She really is,” says Oliver, and he sees Felicity turn towards him beaming. “And trust me, I realize how lucky I am. I am never letting her go,” he continues, looking Felicity right in the eyes, begging for her to understand how much he means that.

Emotion shines in Felicity’s eyes and a soft smile graces her face. She squeezes his hand once again in appreciation, and Oliver feels his lips tug up in an answering smile.

The statement may be a lie right now. Felicity is indeed impressive, but she isn’t his wife. Not yet, at least.

However, Oliver vows to himself that one day, she will be.

He’s had a taste of living without her and it is not something he ever wants to go through again. One day, he and Felicity will get married, and Oliver swears to himself that he’ll keep his promise to Mr. Howard.

He’ll never let her go again.


	10. Part X

 

“You should have seen him Thea, by the end of the evening, the man was practically eating out of his hand! I think he would have agreed to give him his children if he thought it would have helped build the hospital wing,” says Felicity excitedly.

Oliver rolls his eyes fondly, although he feels a swell of affection for her.

During the benefit, he had managed to convince the investors, and in particular Mr. Howard, to donate money for his project. Felicity has been telling Thea all about the evening and making him sound like a hero since they started lunch.

“You might be exaggerating just a bit,” he says laughing, and Felicity looks so offended at his comment that Thea joins in the laughter.

Oliver feels a weight lift off his shoulders when he sees his sister laugh. Since she decided to take a break from being Speedy and focus on finding herself, he’s been worried about her. Although she claims to be fine, he can’t help but worry about his baby sister living all alone in the apartment she used to share with Laurel.

It’s nice to see her happy and smiling.

Oliver has been trying to see her as much as he can, and it’s nice to spend time with her without one of them running for their life. But in between his job as the mayor and Green Arrow business, he hasn’t been able to see her as much as he would like to.

Even though he’s glad that Thea decided to hang up her suit for a little while, he misses her. He got so used to seeing her every night that it’s difficult for him not to be able to keep an eye on her all the time. Although he’s glad for the fact that she’s in a lot less danger now, part of him still wishes she would come back.

“I’m really proud of you Ollie, you seem to be doing a great job,” Thea says looking at him.

“I do my best,” he replies with a shrug and a small smile.

Hearing those words from her makes him incredibly happy, although he doesn’t know how to show Thea how much her positive opinion really means to him. There was a time where he was so afraid of how his family, and especially Thea, would react if they knew what he does.

It’s a nice feeling knowing that his little sister is proud of him not only for him being the Green Arrow, but also for his work as the mayor of the city.

Felicity’s phone beeps from where it’s sitting on the table, and she picks it up with a frown.

“Is everything okay?” asks Oliver after a few seconds when Felicity doesn’t say anything.

She lifts her head and smiles reassuringly at them.

“I’m fine, but I should probably go. That was Curtis saying he had a big fight with his husband, and I think he needs a shoulder to cry on. Sorry to abandon you both!”

“It’s no problem Felicity,” Oliver says with a reassuring smile. “Say hello to Curtis, and tell him I hope everything works out okay.”

“I’ll stop by the store on the way back because I want to buy stuff for our movie night tomorrow. X-Men should never be watched on an empty stomach and deserves only the best snacks. Do we need anything at home?” she asks, and Oliver rolls his eyes fondly at her words.

He doesn’t understand what the big fuss about these movies is, but Felicity seems to love them and wants to watch them with him, so he won’t complain.

“We’re out of laundry detergent, if you don’t mind buying some. Also, whichever vegetable you want with dinner tonight would be good.”

“Is none an option?” she asks cheekily, and Oliver shakes his head.

“No, it’s not.”

“Fine, I’ll find something. See you tonight then, and good luck with your meeting this afternoon,” she says as she gets up from her seat.

“I’ll see you soon Thea,” she says hugging her, before she turns towards Oliver and bends forward, casually pressing a kiss to his cheek before leaving the café in a hurry.

Oliver watches her leave before he turns back to Thea with a smile on his face. He freezes when he sees the look she’s giving him.

“What?” he asks after a few seconds of her only staring at him without saying anything.

“Seriously Oliver?” she asks incredulously.

He doesn’t say anything and waits for her to elaborate, not sure what she wants to tell him.

“You do realize how domestic you two sounded right now, don’t you? _Laundry detergent,_ Oliver.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, fighting not to show his embarrassment at her words.

“You don’t? Okay, let me get this straight,” she says determinedly.

Oliver winces at her tone. He knows there’s no changing her mind when she uses that voice, and he really doesn’t want to have that conversation. Still, he knows it’s a lost cause. Thea will just share whatever she wants to tell him, no matter what he says to dissuade her.

“You live together, you work together in the lair almost every night, you share groceries, you have dates--”

“We don’t have da—“ he starts to protest, but cuts off when he sees the way Thea is looking at him.

“Was I dreaming when Felicity was telling me all about the benefit you two went to together? Plus, _movie nights,_ Oliver. Movie nights. Do I need to say more?” she asks, and Oliver blushes at her words.

“We just enjoy spending time together,” he says, denying what she is saying.

It’s not that he doesn’t get what she’s implying, or that he doesn’t like the idea. He just doesn’t want to get his hopes up.

“Oliver, you guys not only live together, but you spend all of your free time together. I’m guessing she’s the one you share stories about your day with, the first one you call or ask when you need advice about something,” she continues.

“It’s not that simple, Thea,” he says, but she shakes her head at him.

“You realize that you two are basically a couple right? The only thing different from when you were engaged is that you’re not having sex.”

He pauses at her words, and thinks back at the last couple of months.

He and Felicity do spend a lot of time together. Between the time they spend in the lair, and them hanging out at the apartment, the only time he isn’t when Felicity is when he’s working, or when he’s hanging out with his sister.

And she’s not wrong. Felicity is the one he talks to about his day. Whenever he comes back from work, they often have dinner together and Oliver will tell her everything that happened at the City Hall that day, while she tells him all about the latest progress she and Curtis have made with their project.

Oh god, Thea’s right, Oliver realizes. They are basically in a relationship, and they have been for months. They just haven’t talked about it.

Does that really change anything though? If it was up to Oliver, he and Felicity never would have broken up. Knowing that they are acting as if they were in a relationship doesn’t really change anything for him, it’s what he’s wanted from the beginning.

“I know you’re scared Oliver, but you need to open your—“ she continues to say.

“I’m not,” he says, interrupting her.

Thea stops short at his words, and she looks at him in surprise.

“I’m not scared Thea. All I want is to get back with Felicity, but it really isn’t up to me,” he explains.

“What do you mean? All you have to do is tell her you still love her and want to get back together.”

“It’s not that simple,” he explains. “Felicity is the one who broke up with me. She’s the one that couldn’t see herself being in a relationship with me anymore. I messed up with her, I’m not about to push my feelings on to her. She knows how I feel, I think I’ve made that more than clear. Now it’s up to her to decide if she returns those feelings and to let me know if she wants more from our relationship.”

“Oliver, you wouldn’t be pushing your feelings on to her, it’s obvious she’s still in love with you. You can’t be that blind!” exclaims Thea.

“Maybe so,” he replies, quelling the rush of hope he feels at her words. God, he really hopes she’s right about that, and that Felicity actually does feel the same way about him as he feels about her. “But even if that’s the case, it’s not up to me. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”

Thea stays silent for about a minute, just staring at him. Oliver looks at her steadily, begging with his eyes for her to understand. He wishes nothing more than for him and Felicity to actually be together, but it’s not up to him.

Talking about it only serves to remind him that they aren’t actually in a relationship anymore, as much as that pains him, and that Felicity could meet someone else any minute. It just hurts.

“You’re right,” she says reluctantly, and Oliver sighs in relief. “You’re not the one I should be having this conversation with.”

He does a double take at her words and panic starts to seize him.

“Thea…” he says, and she shakes her head.

“No Oliver, it’ll be good! We both know that with how oblivious Felicity can be sometimes, she probably hasn’t even realized what’s going on. That way you can talk, and you’ll either get back together, or you’ll know that you have to move on.”

“Please just leave it alone Thea. I’m fine with the way things are now,” he says, which is mostly true. “I know you want to protect me and I love you for it, but we’re working through things by ourselves at our own pace, and I’m more than happy to wait until she is ready.”

She looks reluctant, and Oliver silently begs her to listen to him.

He and Felicity are slowly growing back towards each other, and he doesn’t want to risk losing her now. If Thea talks to her, she could spook her and realizing how close they have been, Felicity could decide that she never wants things to go back to the way they were after all. That being in a relationship with him is too complicated, and they’d be better off as friends.

“Are you sure this is the best solution?” she finally asks, and Oliver feels relief course through his body, although doubts creep in his mind.

“I’m sure, thank you.”

At least, he really hopes it’s the best solution.

He’s happy with the way things are now, and he’s glad he gets to spend as much time with Felicity as he does, but he can’t wait for them to officially get back together.

It kills him he can’t be with Felicity the way he really wants to be. He wants to be able to hug her to reassure her when she’s scared, to tell her how much he loves her and is proud of her, to touch her the way he’s been dreaming of since they broke up…

But he knows he has to be patient. He made a promise to himself that he would do whatever it takes to gain back Felicity’s trust and hopefully, her love, and rushing her into a relationship isn’t the way to do that.

He’s still confident that they are slowly getting there, and he knows the day it happens will be one of the happiest days of his life.

Now the only this he can do is hope that day will come soon.

 


	11. Part XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I promised the last chapter before the show aired, so here it is! Hopefully, you all enjoy it, and thank you so much to the people who took/will take the time to comment, it really means the world to me. I hope we have a great episode tonight, and that you all enjoy it! If anyone wants to talk about it, please don't hesitate to come and find me on tumblr (emisfritish), I always love talking about the show! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I loved writing it, and I’ll see you soon for the next one! An epilogue may come for this story, but if I write it, it’ll probably be posted as a one-shot or added to the story later on :)

Oliver is sitting on the couch sipping from a glass of whisky while waiting for Felicity to come home.

Since Diggle re-introduced him to the drink, he has to admit that it has grown on him. Although vodka remains his go-to drink, he sometimes prefers the bitter taste of the warm brown alcohol to his usual choice.

The drink always reminds him of the times him and Diggle drank some together after a difficult evening on the street, and it always manages to comfort him.

Even though he’ll never admit it out loud to his friend, he does miss Diggle a lot.

Oliver is pulled from his musing by the noise of the front door being pushed open and Felicity entering the loft. He sits up on the couch and turns towards her smiling warmly, but he instantly feels worry settle in his chest when he sees the weary look on her face.

Thea wouldn’t go back on her promise, would she?

God, he hopes not.

He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to stand losing Felicity because his sister put too much pressure on her. It just wouldn’t be fair.

“Hey,” he says softly to her while she drops her keys and handbag on the breakfast bar. “How’s Curtis?”

Felicity lifts her head towards him and smiles, but he feels a pang in his chest when he notices that she isn’t even looking at him in the eyes.

“He’s better. We talked things through and he had time to calm down. If everything goes as planned, he should be on his way to his husband with a huge bouquet to apologize for being an ass.”

Oliver smiles in answer, although he can’t shake the worry that something is wrong with the way Felicity is acting.

At least one couple will have their happy ending, he thinks wearily.

“How was your day? Did the meeting go okay?” Felicity continues, and Oliver instantly feels relieved.

She may not be acting normal, and the fact that she still won’t look at him worries him, but at least she doesn’t appear to be mad or resent him.

“It went okay. We didn’t resolve everything, so we’ll have to meet again, but it wasn’t too bad.”

Felicity nods in acknowledgement, and she makes her way towards him, before dropping down on the couch next to him.

Trying to calm his nerves, Oliver picks his glass of whisky back up, while watching her from the corner of his eye.

He doesn’t understand what is going on. She doesn’t look or sound particularly mad or resentful, instead she looks pensive and like she is trying to talk herself into doing something.

The thing that worries Oliver to death is wondering what she is trying to talk herself into doing. He can only hope that it isn’t letting him down gently after Thea spilled the beans, because he doesn’t think he could survive that.

After about a minute of silence, she takes a deep breath, and turns towards him in resolve.

Oliver puts his glass down on the living room table, before he turns to face her, waiting anxiously for what she has to say.

“So, I had a talk with Thea…” she starts to say.

A sense of dread fills Oliver at those words, and he closes his eyes, not wanting to face what is about to come.

He cannot believe that Thea actually talked to her. He thought he had gotten through to her, and that she understood the importance of letting them deal by themselves. He can’t fathom the thought that he is about to lose Felicity right now, because of a conversation she had with his sister.

“I take it she had a similar talk with you, huh?” she tries to joke, but Oliver doesn’t move.

Fear and worry are battling in his chest, and he suddenly feels like he wants to vomit. God, he’s about to lose her a second time. How many times can he go through this and actually survive it?

“Oliver, it’s okay,” she says, breaking him out of his thoughts by taking his hand in hers gently.

Oliver opens his eyes in surprise at her gesture, although he knows that Felicity will be able to read the angst in his eyes.

He’s not ready. He can’t say goodbye to her again, he can’t lose her. He’s gotten used to her being the most important person in his life again and most of all, he got used to him being the most important person in her life.

He wakes up to her, he comes back from work and talks to her, he dreams of her at night. She is the first person he wants to talk to when something good happens, the only person he can stand showing his weaknesses to. Felicity has become his everything, and he’s not ready to lose her. Not now, when he hasn’t mentally prepared himself for the possibility.

He doesn’t say anything, and just waits for her to continue. He doesn’t think he’d be able to talk anyway, his throat feels too tight.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks squeezing his hand. “I mean, I’m not stupid. I knew we were getting closer, and god, I’ve loved these past few months with you. But I didn’t realize how close. I didn’t mean to hurt you by forcing you to wait for me, that was never—“

“Felicity, you didn’t,” Oliver says, finally finding his voice. He can’t stay silent and let her imagine that she is the worst person in the world and he’s been hurting all this time.

Many things have changed between them since they met, but one thing that has always been constant, is that Oliver can’t stand to see Felicity in pain.

“You didn’t hurt me, I promise. I’ve just been grateful I got to spend all of this time with you, that you decided to let me back in.”

“But Thea’s right, isn’t she? I knew we were growing closer, but it wasn’t until she pointed it out that I realized that we had basically already been acting like a couple in almost all aspects of our life,” she says with a sad smile. “I’m stupid really. I’ve been so scared of putting myself back out there, of opening myself back up to you that I didn’t realize that I had already been doing it for months.”

“Felicity, you’re probably the least stupid person I know,” Oliver answers with a frown. He hates it when Felicity speaks so self-deprecatingly about herself.

She stays silent and only shrugs in answer, but her thumb caresses the skin of his hand where it’s resting to show her appreciation.

After a few seconds, Oliver thinks back on her words, and he pushes forward, taking her other hand in his and holding them tightly.

“What are you afraid of?” he finally asks softly, dreading the answer.

He hates that their break up took such a toll on Felicity, and he never enjoys being reminded of how much he hurt her. Still, he knows it’s a conversation they need to have if they even want a small chance of being together again.

“It’s stupid anyway,” she starts to say, shaking her head slightly. “I didn’t want to get back together too quickly because I was afraid of how much it would hurt if it didn’t work again, but it was foolish of me to think that I could keep a hold on my feelings. Who was I kidding? You’re the most important part of my day Oliver, the most important part of my life. Losing you now would hurt just as much as if we were actually a couple.”

Oliver’s breath hitches at her confession.

“And god, I just miss you.” she continues. “It’s stupid, because I know that we’ve been spending all of this time together, but I miss being close to you, I miss just being able to hold you tight at night, I miss knowing I was the person you had picked out of everyone you could have picked, I miss being your fiancée,” she says, her voice cracking on the last word.

Oliver feels his heart break at the tears he can see pooling in her eyes, but at the same time a surge of hope bursts through him at her words.

“I miss all of that too, Felicity. So much. I just want to be with you,” he says pleadingly, letting one of her hands go to cup her cheek.

“And I want that too,” she admits, nuzzling his hand with her cheek. “But I’m scared. When you lied to me and we broke up? It really hurt Oliver. And I know I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, and I certainly said some things I didn’t mean, but I was so hurt. If something like that were to happen again, I don’t know how I could get over it.”

Oliver opens his mouth to reassure her that something like that could never happen again, but she continues talking before he has the time.

“I don’t trust easily. You know that,” she says, and Oliver nods sadly. “Between everything that happened with my family, and then with Cooper, I just… I have a hard time trusting people. And yet I trusted you completely. Since the moment I met you, and in spite of all of your lame excuses, I always seemed to trust you. When I discovered the truth about William, it wasn’t just the fact that you lied to me that hurt. It was also because I felt like you used that trust to your advantage.”

Oliver feels tears well into his eyes at the thought of him hurting her that badly. At the time, his only thought was to protect his son, and maybe get a chance at a relationship with him. He knew Felicity wouldn’t be happy when she found out and he hated lying to her, but he had never thought that it would end up hurting her that badly either.

God, he messed up so bad, and the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Felicity.

“I was planning forever with you Oliver, and it just didn’t seem like you were there with me. It didn’t seem like you were doing the same,” she finally says, lowering her face.

And that hurts more than anything. He knows that he made mistakes and that he should have never hid William from her, but he was always completely honest in his feelings towards Felicity.

“Why do you say that?” he says, clearing his throat when his voice breaks with emotion. “I loved—love you so much, and I would have happily spent the rest of my days with you. You are my forever Felicity, I still believe that.”

“What was I supposed to think Oliver? I know you love me, and of course, I love you. So much. That’s never been the issue between us. But you were making major decisions about your life and our future without consulting me, or even mentioning them to me. I was going to be your wife, Oliver. I’m supposed to be the person you trust with everything. I was in this relationship for the long haul, I would have been a part of William’s future, and I would have loved him. Because he is your son, and I love you. And yet, you were deciding everything alone, even after I knew of him. And I’m sorry, but that’s not the kind of future I want. It’s not the kind of marriage I want.”

When she finishes her speech, Felicity has tears running down her cheeks, but she is still holding his hand tightly.

Oliver lowers his head in shame, and he fights the tears that are threatening to fall down his cheeks as well.

God, he can’t believe that he put her through all of this. When they broke up, he and Felicity had never really taken the time to talk about everything, and although he understood that he had hurt her, he didn’t know how much until right now.

Still, he vows to himself that he will never hurt her that way again.

He’s going to fight for Felicity to give them a second chance, and this time, they’ll get it right and be so happy.

“I am so sorry that I made you live that Felicity. I will spend my entire life trying to make this up to you if you’ll let me. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, I hope you know that,” he says, looking back towards her and he sees Felicity looking at him gently.

“I know Oliver. And you don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to make things up to me. I just want to be sure that something like that could never happen between us again,” she says, and Oliver feels hope swell in his heart.

“And I promise, it never will. I can’t promise that I’ll never hurt you again, or even that I’ll never lie. We both know that isn’t possible, no matter the relationship. But I promise that I’ll never hide something as important as this ever again. I promise that I will never put you through the kind of hurt that you’ve been through because of this.”

For a few seconds after his speech, both he and Felicity stay silent. Oliver can read the remaining doubt on Felicity’s face, and he can only imagine the fear and the want battling inside of her at that very moment.

“I know you’re scared Felicity. If I’m honest with myself, I’m terrified too. But I know that we can get through this, together,” he says pleadingly.

“What are you afraid of?” she asks immediately, as if the thought that he could be afraid as well had never crossed her mind.

Oliver hesitates, not knowing what to do. He doesn’t want to risk angering Felicity or shatter whatever chances they have at getting back together. Not when they are so close. Still, he just promised Felicity that he wouldn’t hide anything major from her anymore. If they have any chance of making it through the long haul, he knows he has to be honest about what he’s feeling. Withholding information won’t do them any good right now.

 

“Please talk to me Oliver,” she says softly, bringing a hand up to his face to cup it in hers, imitating his earlier gesture. “We need to trust and be open with each other if we want this relationship to work.”

“I know it’s not necessarily fair, and that maybe I shouldn’t feel that way, considering the fact that I was the reason we broke up. But you weren’t the only one who was hurt Felicity. And I know you were dealing with the pain I had inflicted in the best way you could, but I’m so scared of feeling the way I did again. I don’t think I could survive it to be honest.”

“Was it the things I said? I’m so sorry, Oliver. I know I said some things that weren’t fair that night, and I never should have. Not only was it wrong of me to say that, but it wasn’t true either. I was speaking out of pain, and I didn’t mean what I said. I’m so sorry I hurt you,” she says, caressing his cheek.

“It’s not that,” he says, although he is glad to know that Felicity didn’t believe that he was still the same man he was when he came back from the island.

At Felicity’s look of confusion, he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, before explaining.

“It’s just—“ he starts to say, before cutting himself off and starting again. “I’m just so scared of how easily it seemed for you to walk away and cut me off completely. You’re the love of my life Felicity, I will always believe that. But you leaving without giving me a chance to explain or try to fix things, when I would have been willing to do anything… It just made me believe that maybe you weren’t as invested in the relationship as I was.”

When he opens his eyes back up, he sees that Felicity isn’t angry, but seems incredibly hurt at what he is saying instead.

“Oliver…” she says, her voice cracking. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe you thought that.”

“When you broke up with me, you didn’t just end the relationship, you also decided to leave the team and cut all ties with me. It just seemed like it was so easy for you to decide to leave everything we had for the past three years behind.”

“Oh Oliver,” she says, pressing forward and hugging him tightly. His arms automatically make their way around her waist, and a weight leaves his shoulders.

He’s so glad he managed to get this out and actually tell her what he was feeling. And more than anything, he’s so happy that she doesn’t seem to resent him for feeling that way.

After about a minute of them just hugging each other, Felicity pulls back and brushes the tears that are running down her cheeks, before taking both of his hands back in hers.

“Leaving the team, leaving you… It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. I was hurt, and I felt that this was what I needed to do in order to get better. But I am so sorry Oliver, and it was wrong of me to do that. And I’m so sorry I let you going on believing that you aren’t the love of my life too. I’m so sorry I made it sound easy, because trust me, leaving you is something I never want to do again.”

Oliver feels a wave relief and love crash through his body. He pulls on Felicity’s hands, dragging her closer to him before pulling her in his arms once again.

Felicity’s face settles between his shoulder and his chin, and he feels her nuzzle his neck gently.

After hugging her for a few minutes, he pulls back and looks at her with questioning eyes.

“So, what now?” he asks hopeful, and yet feeling worried about her answer.

They’ve established that they both hurt each other deeply, and they’ve established that they still love each other. But what they haven’t really said, was whether they were both willing to try again…

“Now? Well now, it’s time for me to tell you that I forgive you, Oliver Queen. Because I do. I love you, I trust you, and I can’t live without you. And if you think you have it in you to forgive me for hurting you as well, then maybe we could try again and be happy. Because I miss you more than I can put into words, and I don’t think I can stand another second of being apart from you,” she says with a soft smile, emotion shining in her eyes.

Oliver’s breath catches in his throat at her sentence, and he feels his love for her increase tenfold.

“Yeah?” he asks hopefully.

“Yeah,” she answers. “And if you wanted to kiss me right now, before bringing me back to our bedroom, I guess I wouldn’t be opposed to that either. Because you have no idea how much I’ve missed doing that.”

Oliver laughs softly at her words, before he rushes forward, cups her cheeks in his hands, and kisses her like he’s been dreaming of doing since they broke up.

“I think I have some idea…” he whispers against her lips, before kissing her again.

He kisses her with everything that he has, everything that he is. When he feels Felicity tightening her arms around his neck and opening her mouth up to let him in, he feels like the happiest man on earth.

He knows it won’t be easy. Every hurt hasn’t been cured with one conversation, that’s impossible. But still, he knows that these months they spent growing back together have been everything, and will help them moving forward.

They’ve tasted life apart, they’ve tasted life as friends, and they both know that it isn’t what they want. They both want and need the other, and he is convinced that they have grown from their mistakes. He knows that with time, they will become a stronger couple that they ever were.

Time has brought her back to him, and he intends to keep her forever and live happily ever after.


End file.
